Building a Soilid Foundation | A Sermon on Deuteronomy 6:4-9 & Luke 7:24-27

Introduction
This week our church was filled with children. They sang songs, played games, made crafts, memorized Scripture, and learned about God.  It was a wonderful week.

VBS was incredible.  But VBS alone won't build a lifetime of faith.  You can't build a house on one good week.  A solid foundation is laid one brick at a time. 

That's exactly what Moses tells Israel in Deuteronomy 6.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9
⁴ “Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone.^{[a] 5} And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. ⁶ And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. ⁷ Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. ⁸ Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. ⁹ Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

The Lord is Our God, the LORD Alone
The very first thing this passage reminds us is The LORD is our God.  Now you will notice the Bible capitalizes the word LORD in this passage.  Whenever the Scripture does that, it is translating the name of God, the name of God He gave when He spoke to Moses out of the burning bush.

God said His name is Yahweh.  That is the Hebrew word for God's name.  It is not really translatable, but it means something like, “I Am Who I Am” or just “I Am”.  Yahweh, God, is the only true God.   He is who He is.  We do not get to change Him into something we would like.  We are made in His image, not the other way around.  We can have our opinions about what we think god is like or what we wish He is like, but that doesn't change anything about who God really is.  He has always been the same and always will be the same.  He is sovereign.  He is the great I AM.

They may be other spiritual beings or demons, but there is only One God–the Creator of everything.  He made everything that we see and nothing exists that He has not made and does not have authority over.  And so, we are to worship God alone.  We are not to have any other gods.   And we are never to put anything else ahead of God in our lives.  “Listen, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the Lord alone.”

There are so many things that vie for our attention in this world today.  We are so busy.  We have work and family, and leisure activities, and family obligations.  And if we are parents, then their are so many activities we feel pressured to be involved with for our children and grandchildren.  And sometimes, worshipping God or studying His word or prayer feels like just one more activity we have to fit in an already busy schedule.  But The LORD should be our number one priority.  He should always come first and then we fit the other things around our time devoted to Him (or they don't fit in); but God should always fit in because He is FIRST. 

The Greatest Commandment
Then Deuteronomy spells out what Jesus said is the greatest commandment:  “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.”

Love Him with all your Heart – Your affections and desires. Love God with what you value most and what your heart longs for. Ask yourself: What do I love the most?

And we are to love Him with all our Soul – Your whole life and being. Love God with your identity, your worship, and your commitment to Him. Ask yourself: Who do I belong to?

And love Him with all your Strength – Your energy, abilities, resources, and actions.  Love God not only with your feelings but with what you do and what you have.  Ask yourself: How do I live out my love for God?

Building a solid foundation starts here–by Loving God with all your heart, soul, and strength.

The Second Greatest Commandment
In the New Testament, when they asked Jesus about the greatest commandment, he said, “A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:39)

And when asked, “Who is my neighbor?”  Jesus told the parable of the Good Samaritan, making it clear that everyone is our neighbor–even those who are different than us, even those who we might despise.  And Jesus went even farther, teaching we must even love our enemies, and pray for those who persecute us. 

1 John 4:20 teaches, “If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?

Building a Solid Foundation with Kids
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says, “you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands…  Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.”

 Our faith in God is so important to us.  We want to pass it on to our children and grandchildren.  That is why we go to the extraordinary effort to provide a great VBS each summer.  This was a focused time of fun and learning for our children (and for the adult volunteers too).  It was hard work, but also a labor of love.  And I bet our volunteers got as much out of it as the kids!

But you can’t build a solid foundation of faith with children with just one week out of the year over summer.  Think about it.  Children go to school 5 days a week, 10 months out of the year, for 12 years (plus one for kindergarten).  It takes that much effort to educate them in the basics of mathematics, English, social studies, etc.  On top of these, there will also be interests in extracurricular activities like sports, music and the arts, etc.

But if we are going to instill in our children a true love of God and a desire to value His commandments and the knowledge for how to know Him and trust Him and pray to Him, it must be done through regular lessons and time spent in worship. 

Kids are constantly inundated with worldly ideas.  We must be sure they hear the Truth from God’s Word even more.  And we as parents or grandparents, we too must be so marinated in God’s Word and filled with God’s love that our children see in us a faith they want for themselves.

So we must must commit ourselves wholeheartedly to God’s commands.  Repeat them again and again to our children. Talk about them when we are at home and when we are on the road, when we are going to bed and when we are getting up.

Built on the Rock/Built on the Shifting Sand
In Luke 7:24-27, Jesus said, “²⁴ Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. ²⁵ Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. ²⁶ But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. ²⁷ When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”

I have an unfortunate truth to share with you (in case you don’t already know it).  The fact is, everyone faces storms in their life–times when troubles come that threaten to blow you away like a terrible storm.  It is not a question of if the storms will come, it is only a matter of when.  They come for us all–health problems, divorce, financial problems, the loss of a job, the loss of a loved one…  Many are the storms that can shake our lives to the very foundations.

But when they come, will your life stand because it’s built on the solid rock of faith in Jesus?   Or will you have wasted your time building on the shifting sands of something else?  

We choose what our lives are built on not by words or wishful thinking or good intentions.  We build our lives by our daily practices and disciplines.  Here are some of the spiritual practices that ensure our lives are built on the solid Rock of Christ.

Regular Spiritual Practices that Help Build a Solid Spiritual Foundation

Here are some activities and spiritual disciplines that, when practiced regularly, help you build a solid foundation of faith for your own life and your family.

Be Part of a Church.  Christians need to be part of a church.  There is a lion out there, a great enemy, who wants to devour you--especially when you decide you want to follow Jesus.  And like a young, vulnerable zebra separated from the heard, you can be sure the lion is going to come for you if you are not part of a church.  So, be part of a church.  Attend regular.  Share your life with the church family.  Be committed.

Read Scripture.  If you really want to know God and spend time with Him (and not just what you imagine God to be) read you Bible.  It tells you who He really is and allows you to hear His Word.  

Prayer.  Prayer is the heart of a relationship with God.  He wants you to ask for what you need.  But prayer is not just asking for things.  It is also thanking God, praising God, listening to God, and sometimes just sting with God in silence.  Prayer is so much deeper than we realize, and it is essential to a vibrant relationship with God and a strong spiritual foundation.

Discuss God.  Spend time talking with others about God and about the Bible and your prayer life and what you are learning and experiencing.  We like to talk about people we know or celebrities we admire.  How much more fruitful it is to discuss God with our friends and family.

Express Gratitude.  Be thankful and express it.

Forgive.  Forgiveness can be very hard, but it is at the heart of the Christian faith.  God has forgiven us.  We need to practice forgiving others.

Serve.  Somethings can only be learned by serving.  And serving helps us stop focusing on ourselves and our own problems.  It helps us see others and practice compassion and empathy.

Encourage One Another.  Be an enxourager.

Worship Regularly.  Regular worship is vital to a fir spiritual foundation.  God is worthy of our worship and praise.  And if we love Him with all our heart, soul, and strength, we must honor Him with our songs and prayers and presence and praises and attention.  The routine of regular worship reshapes us into the people God wants us to be and unites us together as the body of Christ on earth.

Repent.  We all make mistakes.  And we are all sinners in need of the saving grace of God.  Repentance opens the door to God's forgiveness in Jesus Christ and starts us along the road to true holiness God wants us to live.

What Are You Building Your Life On?
You know, no one builds a foundation because it's exciting.  No one drives by a construction site and says, "Look at that beautiful concrete slab!"

The foundation isn't the part people admire.  But it's the part that makes everything else possible.  A beautiful house without a foundation won't last.  Neither will a beautiful family.  Neither will a successful career.  Neither will a busy life.

If we neglect the foundation, eventually the storms will reveal it.  Jesus said the wise man builds his house on the rock, because storms will come and test it.

So today I'd simply ask:  What are you building your life on?
Is Christ truly the foundation of your home?
Or has He become just another activity squeezed into an already busy schedule?

This week our children learned songs about Jesus.  They memorized Scripture.  They laughed.  They played.  They made crafts.  But they need more than one week of Vacation Bible School during summer break.  They need parents and grandparents who are building their own lives on Jesus every single day.  They need to see us reading God's Word.  They need to hear us pray.  They need to watch us forgive.  They need to see us worship.  They need to know that when life gets hard, Mom and Dad don't run from God—they run to Him.  Because children usually learn more from what we practice than from what we preach.

Invitation – Maybe today your family needs to begin laying a new foundation.
Maybe you've been trying to build your life on success, or money, or sports, or simply trying to "be a good person."  None of those things can carry the weight of a human soul.  Only Jesus Christ can.

The greatest gift we can give our kids is a faith that will carry them for the rest of their lives.
So I invite you to pray to God and make a commitment…

Things Fall Apart, Episode 3 - A New Generation

Introduction

A long time ago, in a land far away…

Two years passed with Joseph rotting in Pharaoh's dungeon.

Pharaoh had a strange and disturbing  dream.

No one could tell its meaning.

Then, Pharaoh's chief cup-bearer remembered Joseph:

the young man he met in prison with the God-inspired power to interpret dreams.

Pharaoh summoned Joseph from the dungeon and told him the dream.

Joseph explained the meaning.

Egypt would have seven years of great bounty followed by seven years of severe famine.

God, through Joseph, shared a plan to save everyone from the famine.

Pharaoh put Joseph in charge of the nation’s famine relief program.

Joseph stored up Egypt’s extra food during the seven good years 

so they had enough to survive the seven bad years..

God’s provision, through Joseph, rescued Egypt.

It also saved the people from surrounding middle eastern lands throughout the region 

who came to buy food from Egypt during the famine.  

Among those to come were Joseph’s own Hebrew brothers who once sold him into slavery.

Amazingly, Joseph forgave his treacherous brothers, 

because Joseph’s God is a God of grace and forgiveness.

Joseph’s father, Jacob, and all his brothers and their families moved to Egypt.

In Joseph’s day, his Hebrews people were welcomed by Pharoah

 and highly regarded by the empire.

They survived the Great Seven Years Famine

and multiplied and flourished and filled the land.

But soon Joseph and Pharaoh grew old and their lives came to an end.

A new Pharaoh came to power.  

The political landscape changed.

The Egyptian respect and gratitude for Joseph and his God were overshadowed

by Egypt’s own nationalistic dreams of glory.

And then,

Things Fall Apart...

Exodus 1:8-22

8 Eventually, a new king came to power in Egypt who knew nothing about Joseph or what he had done. 9 He said to his people, “Look, the people of Israel now outnumber us and are stronger than we are. 10 We must make a plan to keep them from growing even more. If we don’t, and if war breaks out, they will join our enemies and fight against us. Then they will escape from the country.”

11 So the Egyptians made the Israelites their slaves. They appointed brutal slave drivers over them, hoping to wear them down with crushing labor. They forced them to build the cities of Pithom and Rameses as supply centers for the king. 12 But the more the Egyptians oppressed them, the more the Israelites multiplied and spread, and the more alarmed the Egyptians became. 13 So the Egyptians worked the people of Israel without mercy. 14 They made their lives bitter, forcing them to mix mortar and make bricks and do all the work in the fields. They were ruthless in all their demands.

15 Then Pharaoh, the king of Egypt, gave this order to the Hebrew midwives, Shiphrah and Puah: 16 “When you help the Hebrew women as they give birth, watch as they deliver. If the baby is a boy, kill him; if it is a girl, let her live.” 17 But because the midwives feared God, they refused to obey the king’s orders. They allowed the boys to live, too.

18 So the king of Egypt called for the midwives. “Why have you done this?” he demanded. “Why have you allowed the boys to live?”

19 “The Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian women,” the midwives replied. “They are more vigorous and have their babies so quickly that we cannot get there in time.”

20 So God was good to the midwives, and the Israelites continued to multiply, growing more and more powerful. 21 And because the midwives feared God, he gave them families of their own.

22 Then Pharaoh gave this order to all his people: “Throw every newborn Hebrew boy into the Nile River. But you may let the girls live.”

Generational Change

We’ve been learning how plans fall apart.  I experienced that first hand this week.  I planned to be in church for on-sight worship with you today, but I was exposed to someone with COVID-19.  My test results are negative and I don’t have any symptoms.  However, out of an abundance of caution and on the advice of my doctor, I am in quarantine until Thursday evening.  That’s why I pre-recorded this message for you.  We make our plans and then often things fall apart!  Hopefully this video will play and that won’t fall apart! Haha.

One of the ways things fall apart is as newer generations forget the important values held by the generations before them.  Progress is good.  Newer generations have a lot to offer in the way of new ideas, new energy, and helpful innovations.  And we must all humbly admit that our generation is not perfect.  Sometimes newer generations improve upon our mistakes.  Some examples are the way the founding fathers of America fought for individual liberty.  They improved upon their ancestors who submitted to a monarch. Another example is the generation who fought for civil rights in the 1960s; they rejected the previous generation’s unjust discremination and fought for equality in America.  Unfortunately, newer generations can also get it wrong when they reject the godly values of those who’ve gone before them.  We can certainly see this in the eroding moral values of 21st century America.

This problem of eroding values through the generation is nothing new.  It has always been a problem.  Egypt was one of the oldest, longest lived empires of the ancient world.  To put it in perspective, America is relatively young--244-years-old.  Egypt unified into a world empire in 3100 BC and was one of the most powerful empires in the world for over 2,700 years (over 10X as long as the USA). During those 2,700 years, many dynasties rose and fell apart in Egypt as the attitudes and politics and behaviors of the many generations changed.

Secular historians teach that around 1650 BC a line of foreign rulers known in Egyptian as “Hyksos” dominated northern Egypt.  This would have been around the time the Bible claims Joseph, his Hebrew brothers, and their descendents sojourned in Egypt. Could the Hyksos have been the Hebrews?  Secular historians claim the Egyptians launched a war against the Hyksos and subdued them.  This seems to support the biblical narrative in Exodus 1 where the Egyptian Pharaoh forgets what the God the Hebrews have done for Egypt and subjects them to oppression, slavery, and even genocide.  

The new generations of Egyptians after Joseph clearly did not have the same values as the older generations.  They forgot how God, through Joseph’s people, saved Egypt from starvation.  The new generation of Egyptians were worried there were too many “disgusting” foreigners with too much power and the Egyptians wanted to make Egypt great again.  So they forgot about all Joseph had done for them and they forgot about Joseph’s God and they delved back into their traditional Egyptian cult religion that was unholy and rejected the One True God, the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph.  And we see where that kind of thinking leads--the moral decay of Egyptian society from godly gratitude to ingratitude and from there to arrogance, oppression, enslavement, and ultimately to drowning newborn Hebrew babies in the Nile River.

It’s a problem with which all societies have struggled throughout the ages.  Egypt, Greece, Persia, Rome, Great Britain have all declined as their core values and morals eroded through successive generations.  How do you ensure the next generation will uphold the same essential values you hold dear?  

The older generation cannot hang on to power forever.  In the beginning, you can make your kids do the right thing.  They will soon grow up, though, and you can’t control them forever.  You will have to let go and it can be hard to let go. Harder still is letting go when you feel like your values are being forgotten and trampled upon.

Jesus and the Disciples

Imagine how Jesus felt.  After an amazing three years of ministry on earth, He was crucified.  Of course, we know he miraculously rose from the grave. But then, Jesus ascended to heaven leaving His great salvation mission in the hands of His very human, very fallible disciples.  He said, “Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and teaching them to follow all of my commands.”  We talk a lot in church about our need to have faith in Jesus.  But have you ever stopped to think how Jesus has incredible faith in us to do the right thing for His Kingdom?  Such an idea ought to get you moving and working to do everything you can to build His Kingdom on earth.

Thoughts on Passing the Baton to the Next Generation

I want to share some thoughts from Scriptures about equipping and trusting the next generation to carry on your core values and continue to work on God’s salvation plan, even if it seems like things will fall apart.

Respect Your Parents.  This first word comes Exodus 20:12, “Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”  This is a command from God to you.  And how you obey or disobey this command will be a tremendous influence on how the next generation will honor you.  Your kids learn how to treat you by watching how you treat your own parents (and elders).  If you want the generations that follow you to honor your values, you should honor the values of the generations that came before you.

Lead Your Family to Serve the Lord.  Joshua 24:15 says, “...choose today whom you will serve… But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.”  You must firmly ground your own household on the core value of serving God through Jesus Christ.  It is not enough to say it or claim the label “Christian”.  You must actively devote your life to serving the Lord.  Your kids (the next generation) will not continue this value unless they’ve seen you actively living it. So choose today whom you will serve.

Teach Your Children the Scriptures.  Deuteronomy 11:19 says, “Teach them to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.”  And Proverbs 22:6 says, “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.”  I think the Word of God is pretty clear and doesn’t need any explanation, does it?

Don’t Aggravate Your Kids.  Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”  There are ways parents can nag, pester, be over-controlling, or too demanding that can actually drive their kids to reject their parents’ values.  Ironically, in an overzealous effort to force their kids toward God’s truth, parents sometimes force them away.  Don’t do that.  Pray for wisdom and patience and grace and love to parent well.

Trust God to Work it Out.  Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” You have to trust that God is working alongside you.  He is actually doing the bulk of the work.  If you think it’s all on you, you are going to drive yourself crazy--and crazy people aren’t very good parents.  So stay calm.  Trust God.  And do your part and know God will do His part.

Remember, God Has a Plan You Can’t See.  Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”  People like to quote that verse, because it sounds so nice.  Most people don’t realize the context in which Jeremiah prophesied those words.  You see, he wrote those words in a letter to a group of God’s people who had been sent into exile in Babylon as punishment for their nation’s rejection of God.  Their entire way of life had been destroyed.  People they new and loved had been executed--men, women, and children--or died of starvation and exposure.  Their plans had completely and utterly fallen apart.  Can you imagine what that was like?  And God basically  said, “I know it’s bad now, but I have some good plans for you.  It’s gonna take a couple of generations to work it all out and the future’s gonna look a lot different than what you’re used to, but it’s My plan and it’s a Good Plan.  So trust me and be faithful.”  

Conclusion

Can you trust God like that?  You’ve got to.  Because you are not in charge.  You have about 13 years to be the most important influence in your child’s life.  From that point on, your influence starts to quickly wane and they start making up their own mind.  You will always be important to the younger generation and you will be able to shape them to a degree, but ultimately, you will be letting go more and more and trusting God and the future generations with  the plans you started.  And so, we must pray for future generations.

The Great Evangelist, Billy Graham, wrote these words about praying for younger generations.  “No one except God knows the future, of course, but almost certainly it will be different from today. That means those who follow us will have their own challenges and temptations, including some we can’t even imagine.  No, it isn’t silly to pray for those who will follow us—even those who haven’t been born yet. Repeatedly over the years, I’ve met men and women who had a godly grandmother or saintly great-grandfather whom they never met, but who prayed for them and for others who weren’t yet born. These men and women were convinced that their own commitment to Christ was a result of those prayers, and I can’t help but agree. This may have been what the Psalmist meant when he prayed, “I will perpetuate your memory through all generations; therefore the nations will praise you for ever and ever” (Psalm 45:17).”

A Prayer for Future Generations

God Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  God of Joseph and Moses.  God of the New Testament Apostles and of our grandparents and parents.  We humble ourselves before You, knowing we are most certainly not in control.  And so, we pray for future generations, trusting You will work out Your perfect plans for them and through them.

We pray that they will delight in the Word of God like King David.  Help our children love the Word of God, read it, memorize it, meditate on it, and “soak” in it.

We pray that they will be born again.  Guide them to accept by their own choice Christ as Lord so they can live the new, holy life You want for them.

We pray that they are shaped and influenced by Your Word.  May their hopes, dreams, opinions, decisions, and actions be founded upon Your Word to them in the Holy Bible.

We pray they will be effective and fruitful in ministry to others.  Just as Christ came to serve in compassion, let future generations be filled with Christ’s love for others and so dedicate their lives to loving You and loving their neighbors.

We pray the knowledge of the Lord will spread to generations we will never know.  We pray for generations will never know, hoping that those who outlive us will diligently teach their children Your holy truths.

And finally, Eternal God, we pray the generations who come after us will never fall away from the faith.

We pray through the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Proverbs Day 29

Read Proverbs 29
Children are the biggest investment in a parent's life.  You will spend more time, money, and energy on them than anything else.  A wise investment early on can yield a life of rewards.  However, being neglectful, lazy, distracted, or wavering in your discipline will lead to serious problems later.

Pastor Chris' Paraphrase of Proverbs 29:1, 15, & 17

1 There is no hope for stubborn people who always reject correction. They will soon be broken beyond repair.

15 It’s better to correct children with a switch so they learn wisdom. Let children have their own way now and they’ll turn out to be a disgrace.

17 Discipline your kids and they will give you peace; they will fill your life with joy.

Invest wisely in your children.  You have about 13 years to teach them what they need to know; the rest is just supervision and letting go.  Be brave, firm, diligent, and consistent to teach and discipline them well.  Pray for guidance to know when to hold them tight and when to let them go.  Seek all the grace and help you can get and enjoy the blessings.

Prayer

"Father, thank You for being the perfect parent to me.  Guide me that I may follow Your example with my own children.  Help me understand how to discipline them, when to hold them tighly and when to let them go.  And may they bring glory to Your name all their life.  Amen."

Deep Family Relationships

Ephesians 6:1-4

Introduction

We were made for deep relationships.  A deep relationship is a profound, caring connection of mutual support, cooperation, and trust.  Deep relationships can be with family, friends, someone we date, a spouse, or a co-worker.  However we find them, our souls yearn for deep relationships.  Today, I want to offer some advice to deepen family relationships. 

Ephesians 6:1-4

Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. ² “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: ³ If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”

⁴ Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

Advice for Children

Writing about how deep family relationships should function, the Apostle Paul offers his advice in two parts.  The first part is for children and the second part is for parents.  Let’s look at Paul's advice for children first.

Recalling the Ten Commandments all the way back from the Old Testament, the Apostle Paul said, “Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. ² “Honor your father and mother.””

What does it mean to honor your parents?  To honor them means to treat them as very important people.  When we are young, we sometime start to think nothing important happened before we came along. We might think we are younger, smarter, and more in touch with what is going on in the world.  How can our parents know more than we do?  It can give us a careless attitude about those who are older.  We feel they just don’t understand.

But God says it is not good to have an attitude like that. He knows our parents have earned a lot of wisdom through their life experience. It is in our own interest to listen to them, to respect their opinions and wisdom, to honor them as important people who have helped us very much and who still have a lot to offer. We must fight the tendency to think our parents are too old and out of touch.  We must honor them, because they deserve it and it is in our own best interest.  God promised to give us a long life if we honor our parents.

 

Here are five practical ways you can honor your parents:
 

First of all, spend time with your parents.  Time is one of the most precious gifts you can give.  Your parents gave a tremendous amount of time to raise you.  Now it’s your turn to honor them with your time.

Second, be patient with your parents.  Do you realize your parents needed great patience to care for you?  When you were teenager, you sometime broke their hearts with mean words.  When you were a toddler, you threw temper tantrums and embarrassed them.  When you were an infant, they changed your dirty diapers.  (Once I took my son to a movie and he got sick and vomited on me in the theater.  I didn’t have any clothes to change into.  It took 20 minutes to drive home before I could change.  Then I had to take care of him all night.)

Your parents have done many things like this for you. With God’s help, mothers and fathers do it with patience because we love our children.  They have been patient with you.  Now you can honor them by being patient with them even if you feel they don’t deserve it.

Third, be respectful.  When you disagree with your parents, do it respectfully.  If they make you mad, be gentle.  Refuse to look down on them.  Don’t speak negatively of them.  Don’t do anything that would shame them.  Deliberate speak well of them to others. Protect their dignity and defend their honor.

Fourth, help your parents.  Go with them to the doctor or to get groceries.  Help them clean the house or cook dinner for them.  As you get older, you might even help pay some of their bills.  There are many ways you can help your parents.  Look for ways to do favors for them as an expression of your honor for them.

Fifth, celebrate your parents.  As a pastor, I often go to funerals.  And people pay tribute to all the best qualities of their parents.  Why wait until the funeral to pay tribute to your parents?  You can do it now.   

Advice for Parents

         Paul said, “Fathers, [and what he says applies to mothers as well as fathers] do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”

As a parent, I can tell you it is quite impossible to never provoke your children to anger.  Sometimes kids are just going to be angry with their parents.  But what I think Paul means here is: don't let anger be the prevailing attitude in your home.  Instead, create a healthy home where your children can thrive and become all God wants them to be.  

Here are five practical ways to raise your kids well:

First, spend a lot more time appreciating your kids than you do criticizing or disciplining them.  Of course, parents have to set rules and discipline their kids when they go astray (and all kids do).  However, don’t let that be the only interaction you have with your children.  Encourage them.  Let them know you love them.  Let them know how proud you are of them.  And since we know we will have to discipline our kids, we should make sure we spend lots and lots of time appreciating them. Hear are seven things every kid needs to hear:   

   1.  I Love You
   2.  I’m Proud of You

   3.  I’m Sorry

   4.  I Forgive You

   5.  I’m Listening

   6.  This is Your Responsibility

   7.  You’ve Got What It Takes

 

Second, talk to your kids.  Practice by talking about the little things--like what they did at school, what they like, etc.  Abigail and I went to Red Lobster on Friday and she had a great idea for conversation.  Maybe it will work for you.  We had a personal life quiz.  She would ask me one question about her life and then I would ask her one question about mine.  So she would ask me something like:  What are the names of her closest friends?  And then I would ask her a question like:  What is my favorite hobby? Sometimes I would ask her questions about herself:  what was her earliest memory?  We had a great time going back and forth and we learned a lot about each other.  When you practice talking about the little things, your children will feel more comfortable talking to you about the big things like the struggles they are having at school or with their friends, etc.

Third, your kids need to know you are 100% committed to them.  You let them know you are committed by your actions.  You need to be there for them.  Spend time with your kids.  Find ways to play and have fun together.  Pray together.  Eat together.  Go to church together.  Take a family vacation.  If you can’t afford a vacation or can’t take the time off work, then take a short trip or outing together.  It can be as simple as hiking at Fort Mountain or taking a walk in your neighborhood.  The point is to do stuff together--just you and your kids.  There is nothing more precious that you can give you kids than your time.  And nothing shows you are committed to them better than when you share your time with them.

Fourth, discipline your children and hold them accountable.  This is very important.  Remember, your primary job is not to be your child’s best friend.  A parent's primary job is to train their child to be a well adjusted adult.  This includes teaching them integrity, responsibility, self-discipline, and good morals.  Believe it or not, children are happier when they have clear rules to follow and consistent consequences when they violate the rules.  By holding your children accountable to right behavior, you are training them the be happy, successful human beings.

Fifth, love your spouse.  That might seem counterintuitive, but it’s very true.  Your kids need stability and nothing reinforces their sense of stability than when they know their mom and dad’s marriage is rock solid.  Furthermore, you will be a better parent if your marriage is strong.  I see marriages get into trouble a lot because parents make the mistake of focusing too much time, energy, and resources on their kids at the expense of the marriage relationship.  I understand why it happens.  At an immediate level, your kid’s needs often must come first.  But in the long run, you will soon find your marriage in trouble if you always put your kids before your marriage; consequently, your kids will suffer too.  Remember, your kids will be in the home only 18 or so years, but your husband or wife is for life.  If you truly love your kids, you better love your spouse more.  If you want more advice on how to strengthen yourmarriage, you can look back at my blog from last Sunday.  Or, perhaps you would like to make an appointment to come talk with me.

Conclusion

God created you to have deep relationships.  The most natural of these relationships is with the people in your own family.  However, that doesn’t mean having deep relationships with your family comes naturally.  It takes effort and I encourage you to put in the effort; it is worth it.  What our world needs is strong, godly families.  That could change our nation.

As with all the other types of deep relationships in your life, your deep family relationships will suffer if your relationship with God is not right.  The sin in our life impairs our relationship with God, but the Good News is there is forgiveness through Jesus Christ.  When we we ask forgiveness and let Jesus take control of our lives, we will find our relationship with God growing stronger and all our other relationships--including with our family--begins to grow stronger too.  I invite you to get your heart right with God today.