Arguing with Jesus About Nonviolence

Jesus, Nonviolence, and Self-Defense
Luke 6:27-36

Introduction

            I have always been fascinated with martial arts.  When I was only 6 years old, I begged my mom to let me sign up for a judo class that advertised to kids at my school.  My mom—who is very submissive and nonviolent—would not let me join the class.  She didn’t like any kind of fighting and she didn’t want her son participating in something she considered too violent.  However, the allure of martial arts never faded for me and I watched martial arts movies and tried to teach myself the moves from books I checked out of the library.  When I was 10, my mom finally relented and allowed me to join a martial arts class with some friends.  My friends dropped out after only a few months, but I was hooked and became a lifelong martial artist.

            It's 30 years later and my love and appreciation of martial arts and self-defense have never faded—even after I became a pastor.  In fact, based on some things I learned in seminary about the positive effects of martial arts, I even developed a Christian Martial Arts program that combined elements of martial arts with prayer, community service, and scripture memorization.  I taught my own martial arts classes for 7 years.  Even though I am a 2^nd degree black belt in Tang Soo Do, I am currently learning a new martial art called Jiu-jitsu and I love it!

            People are sometimes puzzled by a pastor who has so much interested in punching, kicking, and choking people.  I mean, isn’t Christianity a nonviolent religion?  I got a few questions about it from the Board of Ordained Ministry when they interviewed me to see if I was fit to be a United Methodist minister.  “Do you like fighting?” they asked.  “Absolutely not!” I replied, “but I love sparring.”  Sparring is practice fighting.  Although I detest fighting, I really like to spar in a friendly setting.  The same is true of verbal confrontations for me.  I love to debate, but I can’t stand to argue.  I can spar with someone (or debate someone) and then give them a genuine hug full of love and mutual respect afterwards.  I may even love and respect them more because of it.  I do not like to fight.  However, if I am forced to fight—either physically or verbally—I am quite confident in my ability.

            How do I justify my love of martial arts and resolve to defend myself given Jesus teachings and life of nonviolence?  I often find myself thrust into an awkward position—arguing with Jesus about the subject of self-defense.  Actually, I am not really arguing with Jesus; I am arguing with the way people misunderstand or misuse what Jesus said.  Let’s look at one of the passages where Jesus urges a nonviolent response.

Luke 6:27-36

²⁷ “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. ²⁸ Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. ²⁹ If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. ³⁰ Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back. ³¹ Do to others as you would like them to do to you.

³² “If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! ³³ And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much! ³⁴ And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, why should you get credit? Even sinners will lend to other sinners for a full return.

³⁵ “Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked. ³⁶ You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate. 

 

General Interpretations

Christ’s teaching and exemplary example of nonviolence are extraordinary.  Jesus wisely understood that given the socio-political-religious conditions of his time, the best way to change his world forever was through a nonviolent, peaceful revolution.  This was God’s plan of salvation and Jesus willingly drank from the cup God handed him.  By not resisting the Roman authorities and willingly dying on the cross, Jesus affected salvation for all humanity for all time.  Jesus astonishing sacrifice sparked a social and moral revolution that changed the world forever.

Following Christ’s nonviolent example, other notable leaders have made significant changes to better our world.  Mahatma Gandhi led India to win independence from the British Empire through nonviolent resistance.  Martin Luther King, Jr. helped transform civil rights in the United States through nonviolent protest.  So, we can certainly see that Jesus’ revolutionary teachings to “turn the other cheek” and to “love your enemies” are powerful weapons indeed.

Many Christian pacifists^[i] interpret Jesus’ teaching to mean it is always wrong to injure other humans, no matter the circumstance.  They would argue that even self-defense is wrong.  If Jesus was willing to lay down his life—even for his enemies—we should do likewise.

On the surface, complete Christian Pacifism may seem reasonable and many who take a simplistic view if Christ’s example accept this conclusion without much thought.  However, this simplistic view is not the whole of Jesus teachings or actions.  To make my point, I would draw your attention to other examples of Jesus teachings and actions.

First of all, there is the story of Jesus and the money changers.  The story is found in all four of the Gospels—Matthew 21, Mark 11, Luke 19, and John 2.  In the story, Jesus enters the holy Temple in Jerusalem and violently flips over the money changers tables and drives them out of the Temple with a whip because they were cheating people and dishonoring God’s house.  This is not exactly the gentle, peaceful Jesus of our nonviolent dreams.

Second, when Jesus enraged the people of Nazareth with his preaching at their synagogue in Luke 4, a mob tried to push him off a cliff.  However, Jesus did not allow them to hurt him.  Luke 4:30 says, Jesus “...passed right through the crowd and went on his way.”

Third, when Jesus was on trial before the Sanhedrin (John 18:22-23), one of the high priest’s guards slapped Jesus across the face.  Interestingly, Jesus does not “turn the other cheek” and passively invite the guard slap him again.  Jesus doesn’t strike back with fists, but rather he fights back with words.  Jesus defends himself saying, “If I said anything wrong, you must prove it. But if I’m speaking the truth, why are you beating me?”^[ii]

Let me give you one more example.  Luke 22:31-38 tells the story of how Jesus predicted Peter would deny him.  You remember this story.  Peter is adamantly professing his eternal loyalty to Jesus even in the face of death and Jesus says, “Peter before the rooster crows in the morning, you will deny me three times.”  Well, embedded in this story is a strange instruction from Jesus to his disciples.  Let me read it to you straight from the Bible.

Luke 22:35-36 – Then Jesus asked them, “When I sent you out to preach the Good News and you did not have money, a traveler’s bag, or an extra pair of sandals, did you need anything?”  “No,” they replied.  “But now,” he said, “take your money and a traveler’s bag. And if you don’t have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one!”

The implication here is that in the past the disciples were able to move about the country safely due to the goodwill of the people.  But Jesus is about to be arrested and executed and his followers are going to be in danger everywhere they go.  Even traveling will be treacherous.  The disciples will need a sword for self-defense.  Since we know Jesus is not encouraging military aggression—his plan is to allow the religious leaders to arrest and crucify him—Jesus must be telling his disciples to purchase swords for self-defense.  What!?!  That doesn’t seem like the peaceful, pacifist Jesus I was taught about as a kid!

In fact, the passage from Luke 6:27-36 where Jesus says, “Turn the other cheek” is not about nonviolence at all.  It is about receiving personal insult.  Slapping someone in the face was considered a great insult to Jews of Jesus day.  So Jesus is not talking about a grave, life threatening danger when he said “turn the other cheek”.  Jesus is saying, set your ego aside—even if you are in the right.  Love your enemies.  Bless those who curse you.  If someone insults you and slaps you in the face, love them the way God loved you when you were His enemy.  Show extravagant love by going the extra mile and turning the other cheek. 

Resisting Evil

            There is no doubt that Jesus’ nonviolent approach has brought about remarkable change in situations where change seemed completely impossible.  However, to teach that Jesus advocated pacifism in every situation is just not accurate.  To passively allow someone to break into your house and harm you or your family because “Jesus said so,” is a total misunderstanding of what Jesus said and did.  Theologians J. P. Moreland and Norman Geisler say that "to permit murder when one could have prevented it is morally wrong. To allow a rape when one could have hindered it is an evil. To watch an act of cruelty to children without trying to intervene is morally inexcusable. In brief, not resisting evil is an evil of omission, and an evil of omission can be just as evil as an evil of commission. Any man who refuses to protect his wife and children against a violent intruder fails them morally."^[iii]

            I do not believe Jesus wants us to sacrifice our health or safety to someone who threatens us.  Nor do I believe Jesus would ask a nation to refuse to fight to defend the safety of its citizens.  You have the God-given right to defend yourself and I encourage everyone to learn how.  And thankfully, we live in a country where the constitution guarantees our right to keep and bear arms so we have an extra tool available to defend ourselves (God help us) if we ever need to.

            What I have learned in my life—what I have taught many people—is fighting should be the very last resort.  Sometimes however—and very rarely—fighting is the only solution.  Physical violence is a very short term solution.  It usually leads to more problems than it solves.  However, sometimes it is the only course to take.  And if you find yourself in a situation where you must fight for your life or limb, then fight with all your might and know that God is on your side.

            At the same time, there are occasions when the best course of action is nonviolence.  Sometimes, God calls us—like He called Jesus—to endure suffering for His glory.  Such times when we choose to refrain from fighting are not a sign of weakness at all.  Rather, they require great courage and resolve to suffer harm for a purpose greater than our own personal safety.  I pray that you will have such a close relationship with Christ through the Holy Spirit that should you ever find yourself in a situation where you need to refrain from fighting and suffer abuse for the sake of Christ, you will clearly know it and have the strength and courage to be faithful.   

Conclusion

In closing, I would like to point out how great was the love of Christ that caused him to willingly lay down his life for us on the cross.  The sacrifice was made greater by the fact that Jesus could have saved himself.  You see, no one could take Jesus' life from him unless he willingly surrendered it.  Jesus could have called down an army of 10,000 angels to come save him and destroy the world because it offended him.  This was totally within his power to do and he would have been completely justified to do it.  Yet, Jesus’ great love for you and me—though we absolutely didn’t deserve it—and his wisdom to know what was needed to save our souls and change our world forever compelled Jesus to suffer abuse, be nailed to the cross, and remain there until he died.  His act would have been amazing enough had he been unable to prevent it.  Yet it is even more extraordinary precisely because Jesus could have avoided it and chose not to for your sake.

How would you respond to such an amazing love as this?  Close your eyes and reflect on the love of Christ for a moment.  You see, Jesus was nailed to the cross, but it wasn’t the nails that held him there.  It was his love for you that kept him on the cross until he died to pay the price for your mistakes and wrongdoings.  Do you understand that?  Now what are you going to do about it?

I would suggest that you decide this day, to commit your life to him, to love him the way he loves you, and to love the people of this world—good and bad—because Jesus loves them too.

---

^[i] For more a more, see this great article - http://home.earthlink.net/~ronrhodes/qselfdefense.html

^[ii] John 18:23

^[iii] The Life and Death Debate: Moral Issues for Our Time, by Dr. Norman Geisler and JP Moreland, Greenwood Publishing, 1990.

Arguing with Jesus About Lazarus

John 11:1-44

Introduction

            I love being a pastor! I feel so blessed to make a living doing something I love. I feel like I make a real difference and I know I am fulfilling God’s purpose for me. The people of this church have been so kind to me and my family. You make me feel appreciated and it inspires me. 
           That doesn't mean my job is always easy.  Most days are pretty good and I get to do a lot of neat things like pray with a mom and dad who just had their first baby. Unfortunately, there are darker responsibilities too, like trying to comfort someone who lost their brother unexpectedly in a car accident. It is in these darker moments when the senseless suffering of our broken world are overwhelming that we sometimes want to argue with Jesus. "Why did you let this happen?"
            There is a story in the Bible in the Gospel of John that brings the issue to light best for me.  It is the story of Lazarus' death and resurrection.  It's a long reading, but it's worth the time to read the whole story.

John 11:1-44

A man named Lazarus was sick. He lived in Bethany with his sisters, Mary and Martha.² This is the Mary who later poured the expensive perfume on the Lord’s feet and wiped them with her hair. Her brother, Lazarus, was sick. ³ So the two sisters sent a message to Jesus telling him, “Lord, your dear friend is very sick.”

⁴ But when Jesus heard about it he said, “Lazarus’s sickness will not end in death. No, it happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this.” ⁵ So although Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, ⁶ he stayed where he was for the next two days. ⁷ Finally, he said to his disciples, “Let’s go back to Judea.”

⁸ But his disciples objected. “Rabbi,” they said, “only a few days ago the people in Judea were trying to stone you. Are you going there again?”

⁹ Jesus replied, “There are twelve hours of daylight every day. During the day people can walk safely. They can see because they have the light of this world. ¹⁰ But at night there is danger of stumbling because they have no light.” ¹¹ Then he said, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but now I will go and wake him up.”

¹² The disciples said, “Lord, if he is sleeping, he will soon get better!” ¹³ They thought Jesus meant Lazarus was simply sleeping, but Jesus meant Lazarus had died.

¹⁴ So he told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead. ¹⁵ And for your sakes, I’m glad I wasn’t there, for now you will really believe. Come, let’s go see him.”

¹⁶ Thomas, nicknamed the Twin, said to his fellow disciples, “Let’s go, too—and die with Jesus.”

¹⁷ When Jesus arrived at Bethany, he was told that Lazarus had already been in his grave for four days. ¹⁸ Bethany was only a few miles down the road from Jerusalem, ¹⁹ and many of the people had come to console Martha and Mary in their loss. ²⁰ When Martha got word that Jesus was coming, she went to meet him. But Mary stayed in the house.²¹ Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.²² But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask.”

²³ Jesus told her, “Your brother will rise again.”

²⁴ “Yes,” Martha said, “he will rise when everyone else rises, at the last day.”

²⁵ Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. ²⁶ Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this, Martha?”

²⁷ “Yes, Lord,” she told him. “I have always believed you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who has come into the world from God.” ²⁸ Then she returned to Mary. She called Mary aside from the mourners and told her, “The Teacher is here and wants to see you.”²⁹ So Mary immediately went to him.

³⁰ Jesus had stayed outside the village, at the place where Martha met him. ³¹ When the people who were at the house consoling Mary saw her leave so hastily, they assumed she was going to Lazarus’s grave to weep. So they followed her there. ³² When Mary arrived and saw Jesus, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

³³ When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him,^[f] and he was deeply troubled. ³⁴ “Where have you put him?” he asked them.

They told him, “Lord, come and see.” ³⁵ Then Jesus wept. ³⁶ The people who were standing nearby said, “See how much he loved him!” ³⁷ But some said, “This man healed a blind man. Couldn’t he have kept Lazarus from dying?”

³⁸ Jesus was still angry as he arrived at the tomb, a cave with a stone rolled across its entrance. ³⁹ “Roll the stone aside,” Jesus told them.

But Martha, the dead man’s sister, protested, “Lord, he has been dead for four days. The smell will be terrible.”

⁴⁰ Jesus responded, “Didn’t I tell you that you would see God’s glory if you believe?” ⁴¹ So they rolled the stone aside. Then Jesus looked up to heaven and said, “Father, thank you for hearing me. ⁴² You always hear me, but I said it out loud for the sake of all these people standing here, so that they will believe you sent me.” ⁴³ Then Jesus shouted, “Lazarus, come out!” ⁴⁴ And the dead man came out, his hands and feet bound in graveclothes, his face wrapped in a headcloth. Jesus told them, “Unwrap him and let him go!”

Important Points

This is an amazing story of how Jesus brought a dead man back to life after he’d been in the grave for four days.  It’s such an amazing miracle, you can miss some of the more troubling aspects of the story if you don’t pay attention.  Here are a few important points you should ponder.  First of all, Lazarus was Jesus’ dear friend (verse 3).  Jesus had stayed in Lazarus’ home on a number of occasions.  He had on ongoing relationship with Lazarus’ family.  He cared about him and they cared about Jesus.  If anyone could ask Jesus for a favor, it was Lazarus and his sisters.  Second, Jesus could have prevented Lazarus’ death.  As the Son of God, Jesus had the power to heal and had done so on plenty of occasions.  Third, Jesus specifically chose not to go and heal Lazarus and Lazarus died.  And finally, in the end, Jesus raised Lazarus. 

Human Suffering

            We live in a world full of beauty and love, but there is also darkness and evil and suffering.  Just as I have had the happy occasion to visit with couples at the birth of a healthy child, I have also had the unhappy experience of being with a family whose child died within a few days of birth.  It is very difficult to be God’s representative in those situations when great sorrow and not joy are the order.

            We believe God knows our every sorrow and need.  We believe God loves us unconditionally.  We believe God has the power to protect and heal—even to raise the dead to life as he did Lazarus.  Then why doesn’t He always do it?  Why does He sometimes seem to stay away as Jesus stayed away from Lazarus in his time of need?  Christians have agonized over these questions and even argued with Jesus about them for thousands of years.

            I don’t presume to have all the answers to questions the best theologians through the ages have been unable to answer definitively.  I can only offer a few points that make sense to me based on my years of ministry.

            First of all, I trust that God loves us.  Even though I don’t always understand why bad things happen (often to very good people), I do trust that God loves us and is with us in our sorrow.  In the story of Jesus and Lazarus, you can tell that Jesus cared deeply about Lazarus.  Jesus wept at Lazarus’ grave.  He was angry at the whole situation of how Lazarus’ death was ultimately the result of a fallen world corrupted by human sin—where disease was the order of the day and where people used the tragic occasion of a man’s death to dispute the power of the Son of God.  Likewise, God is not happy about our suffering.  I don’t understand why He heals some and does not heal others, but I know He cares deeply.  That is my faith.  If you are struggling with grief, cling tightly to your faith in God’s love.  Even if you don’t understand why, trust in God’s love.

            Second, I know there is no pain in this life that God has not faced—many times over.  My sister’s life-long friend, Lisa, lost her son in a tragic motorcycling accident a few years ago.  No parent should ever have to bury their own child.  Some would argue it is the greatest agony known to man.  People debate about why it happened—was God not present to protect Lisa’s son or was it a result of the young man’s choice to drive a vehicle some would say is too dangerous.  Lisa would tell you the thing that has helped her the most in her terrible grief is knowing that God also lost His Son.  Jesus, the Son of God, was murdered on a cross because of the evil in human hearts.  So God knows what it is like to suffer, to grieve, to lose His own child.  God knows what we feel when we suffer and He cares.  If you are suffering, know that God understands exactly how you feel.  He feels it too.

            Finally, I believe there is a much bigger picture to what is going on than we will ever see in this lifetime.  I trust God with the big picture.  You see, Christianity teaches this world is not our home.  We sometimes think it is, because it’s all we know.  Yet our time here on earth is very limited in the scale of eternity.  We see things from our earthly point of view, God sees things from an eternal point of view.  Can you even imagine the sale of eternity?  A hundred years seems a long time to us.  A thousand years seems forever, but eternity is everlasting and we are made for eternity.  The times of suffering we consider so dreadful in the 80 or 90 years of this life won’t seem so significant when we are living in God’s glorious eternity.  100,000 years from now, do you think you will give much thought to the pain you are experiencing now?  So just accept that there are things too big for us to totally comprehend.  Trust that God has it under control and will work it all out—somehow—for your own good and for the good of the whole universe for all eternity.

            In the end, Jesus did raised Lazarus from the grave.  Jesus also promised he would raise you and those you love if you believe.  In John 11:25, Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying.”  We have this promise from Jesus and it gives us hope—hope that even transcends death.  So whatever grief, sorrow, or suffering you face in this life, cling to your faith in God through Jesus Christ. 

Five Ways Skipping Worship is Killing Your Church

The Truth As Far As I Can Tell…
Five Ways Skipping Worship is Killing Your Church

Acts 10:25 – And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

There are tons of things you could do on Sunday besides go to church.  Football games, vacations, competitions, amusements, and many other things beckon us to choose them instead of church.  In addition, there are many Sundays people just want to take a break and stay home.  Perhaps that is why church attendance in our country has declined steadily over the past 30 years.  It might not seem like a big deal to you, but it is hurting you spiritually and it is killing your church.

Here are five ways skipping worship on Sunday is killing your church (and your own spiritual life):

Number one – It makes the worship service less exciting for everyone. 

Your presence in worship is vital because it feeds the whole congregation.  A half-empty sanctuary makes for a dull worship service.  There are fewer voices singing the songs.  The sanctuary feels cold and lifeless.  When you skip church, you are hurting everyone else who needs you to be there as part of the body of Christ (and you are missing out too).

Number two – It discourages your leaders. 

Your pastor probably spent at least 20 hours preparing the message.  The choir director spent a similar amount of time.  The 15-30 choir members spent hours rehearsing.  Then there are other volunteers who prepared for Sunday school, children’s church, who cleaned, who set up the sanctuary, and a number of other responsibilities.  It is disrespectful of their efforts when you choose to skip church and it discourages them.  On the other hand, your full support excites and inspires them to do a great job, which builds momentum and great ministries at your church.

Number three – You lose touch with the life of your church. 

Your church is a vibrant place.  You need to stay active to grow.  You have to know what’s going on to participate.  When you skip, you don’t know what’s going on.  You can try to stay up-to-date through emails, Facebook, and newsletters, but it’s not the same.  If you are absent, you will miss something important.  It only takes one Sunday away and you already begin to drift.  Miss two or more and you are seriously out of the loop.  You better get back to church quick and get plugged in.

Number four – It messes up your priorities. 

Jesus said, “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else…” (Matthew 6:33).  You decide the top priorities of your life by what you spend your time, money, and energy doing.  When you choose the football game (or anything else) over church, you have made a decision about what comes first in your life.  There are thousands of things you could choose besides church, but these won’t bring you closer to the Kingdom of God.  It’s time to be honest about what’s most important to you.  I hope you will seek the Kingdom of God above all else.

Number five – It robs the church of the resources it needs. 

The fact is it takes money to run a church.  Excellent ministry requires excellent staff who need to be paid.  The church building has to be paid for and maintained.  Ministry to the needy requires funding.  Poor attendance leads to poor finances because people who skip usually do not give an offering.  When finances are down, the work of God suffers.

Everyone's situation varies, but--in general--you shouldn't miss more than 5 Sundays per year.  For most people, that should be plenty to account for illness, vacations, and the occasional special situation.  If you are missing more than 5 Sundays per year, you may need to re-evaluate your priorities and decide if your commitment to Christ and His Church are what they need to be.

If you are skipping church, you are helping to kill it.  Perhaps it’s time we look in the mirror and start making some changes.  Of course, I’m no expert and certainly don’t claim to know everything, but that’s the Truth as far as I can tell… 

Remember, God loves you and so do I!

Arguing with Jesus About Divorce

Mark 10:1-12 & Matthew 5:31-32

Introduction

            In my role as a pastor, I often find it necessary to argue with Jesus.  You might find that a strange thing for a pastor to say.  It would be laughable for any mortal to argue with the infinite wisdom of a God who created the universe?  Some might think to argue with Jesus reveals a lack of faith.  So let me explain what I mean by “arguing with Jesus.”

            I often find people misunderstand what Jesus really meant or they take his words in the Bible out of context.  They will come to me and say, “But in the Bible Jesus said…” and they will use Jesus’ words in the wrong way.  And then as a pastor, I find myself in the awkward position of arguing with Jesus.  So, I’m not so much arguing with Jesus as I am arguing with the way people misuse or misunderstand Jesus.

            Jesus said and did many things in the Bible.  In this series, I would like to address some of the passages that are often misused or misunderstood.  I hope you will come to Pleasant Grove UMC or read this blog for each of these messages.  Perhaps you know someone else who is particularly interested in one of these subjects.  Invite them to come too!

            Today, I want to “argue with Jesus” about the issue of divorce.  It might surprise you to find out how often people come to me racked with guilt because they have been divorced—even if the divorce was justified.  They will even quote Jesus’ words about divorce in the Bible and I find myself awkwardly “arguing with Jesus” on behalf of someone who needs grace and forgiveness.  So to start off, let’s turn in our Bibles to see what Jesus said about divorce. 

Mark 10:1-12

Then Jesus left Capernaum and went down to the region of Judea and into the area east of the Jordan River. Once again crowds gathered around him, and as usual he was teaching them.

² Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife?”

³ Jesus answered them with a question: “What did Moses say in the law about divorce?”

⁴ “Well, he permitted it,” they replied. “He said a man can give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away.”

⁵ But Jesus responded, “He wrote this commandment only as a concession to your hard hearts. ⁶ But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ⁷ ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, ⁸ and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, ⁹ let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

¹⁰ Later, when he was alone with his disciples in the house, they brought up the subject again. ¹¹ He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her. ¹² And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.”

The Apparent Lesson

            Jesus clearly takes a strong position against divorce in this passage.  Even though the Old Testament law in Deuteronomy 24:1 allowed for divorce, Jesus apparently does not.  This is a very strict teaching.  The disciples struggled with it and Christians have struggled with it ever since.  Let’s take a quick look at another passage from the Gospel of Matthew where Jesus listed only one acceptable excuse for divorce.

Matthew 5:31-32

“You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’ ³² But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery.

Only One Acceptable Excuse?

            In Matthew, Jesus says pretty much the same thing he does in Mark except he allows for divorce in the case of unfaithfulness.  What are we to make of all this?
            Well clearly, divorce is not God’s original intention.  Jesus’ view of marriage goes back to the original plan in creation where God designed a man and a woman for each other to become so unified in marriage that it’s as if they become one person.  Anything less falls short of God’s original plan. 

            If we only take Jesus’ words at face value (which is what many people do), we quickly run into problems.  Is unfaithfulness really the only acceptable cause for divorce?  What about physical abuse?  If a man is beating his wife, shouldn’t we advise her to get a divorce as soon as possible for the sake of her own safety?  What about harsh verbal or mental abuse?  Should a person remain in a marriage where they are being torn apart inside by the ongoing and excessive cruelty of their spouse?  The answers to these questions should be obvious. 

Sometimes a divorce is right thing to do.  Sometimes it is the only way out of an extremely harmful marital situation.  You would be surprised by the number of times I have counseled with both men and women in just these kinds of situations.  I believe Jesus would embrace them and comfort them and tell many of them to get a divorce as soon as possible.  And yet, these unfortunate victims struggle with guilt because of what Jesus said in the passages we just read.   

Understanding the Context

            It is crucial for us to understand what Jesus said about divorce within the proper context in which he said it.  First of all, look at verse 2.  “Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife?””  You see, this conversation was not a sincere attempt of the Pharisees to understand God’s plan for marriage and divorce.  This whole issue was brought to Jesus as a way to get Jesus in trouble and make him look bad.  So, we need to keep that in mind as we consider what Jesus said about divorce.

            The second thing we need to consider is what divorce was like in Jesus day.  The Jewish law in the Old Testament had a provision for divorce.  Deuteronomy 24:1 says, “Suppose a man marries a woman but she does not please him. Having discovered something wrong with her, he writes a document of divorce, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house.”

            Now let’s think about that a little.  It’s saying that if a wife does not please her husband, he can just divorce her.  That’s pretty harsh!  So maybe she’s getting a little older and she doesn’t look as appealing as the younger woman who just moved in next door.  Does that qualify?  It seems so if you take the Llw literally.  Or maybe the wife doesn’t agree with everything the husband says.  Is that cause for divorce?  It seems so according to a literal reading of the Old Testament law.  If you’re going strictly by what Deuteronomy 24:1 says, a husband can divorce his wife for any reason she does not please him—and that could be almost anything.  And that is exactly what many husbands were doing to their wives in Jesus day.  Furthermore, there is no provision in the Old Testament law for a woman who wants to divorce a man!

            Jesus lived in a society where women had few rights or privileges.  Moreover, they had limited (if any) means to provide for themselves outside of marriage.  So a woman who was divorced and sent away from her husband’s house often faced tremendous hardship in addition to shame.  So when Jesus spoke out to forbid divorce, he was actually speaking out to protect women from unjust treatment and exploitation.  How ironic it is then that today women often come to me consumed with guilt because they had to divorce a man who was mistreating or exploiting them! 

Times Have Changed

            In the original context, Jesus was trying to protect women, but times have changed.  Women have many more opportunities now than they did 2,000 years ago.  A wife who divorces can make it on her own in ways that women in Jesus’ day could not imagine.  I, myself, grew up as the product of a single, divorced mom.  It was not easy for her to provide for our family, but she managed in ways women in the New Testament probably could not.  So times have changed—somewhat for the better—since Jesus spoke out against divorce. 

Today, I find that men often need protection when it comes to divorce.  I have counseled with a number of men in heart breaking situations where the wife was asking for a divorce and the husband did not want it.  The husband was not necessarily guilty of any grave offence or abuse.  Furthermore, the husband was even willing to seek marital counseling to improve the relationship with the wife, but the wife was unwilling.  So men sometimes—just as much as women—can find themselves devastated and completely heartbroken—having to deal with an unwanted divorce and all the financial troubles and familial complications a divorce brings.  And sometimes I have felt that if Jesus were present he might grab a few mean-spirited wives and just shake them and say, “Don’t you realize how cruel and unchristian you are being!”  It was not that divorce was evil; it was the fact that the divorce was unnecessary, but the wife didn’t care and was not willing to even try and fix the problem. 

The Bottom Line about Divorce

            So what’s the bottom line?  What should we think about divorce?  If Jesus were speaking from this pulpit today, what would he say?  Well, God did not part the clouds and give me the answer in an audible voice.  However, I have thought deeply and prayed about this over many years of walking with the Lord and serving as a pastor to counsel numerous couples facing divorce and here’s what I believe Jesus would say.

            First of all, divorce is not God’s original plan.  From the beginning of creation, God designed marriage to be a lifelong, deep and sacred union between a man and a woman.  The closer a husband and wife come to this goal, the closer they are to God’s will and the more fulfilling their life together will be.  This is God’s hope for all married people.

            However, marriage is not easy.  It takes a lot of work—especially because we are broken individuals that live in an imperfect world.  Sometimes we will face problems in our marriage—maybe even very difficult problems.  Yet we should strive very hard to work through our marital troubles if at all possible.  A marriage that is worth having is worth fighting for.  And you would be amazed at some of the stories I could tell you of broken marriages I have seen healed.  It often saddens me to see marriages fail that I believe could be fixed if only both the husband and wife were willing to work on it.  So divorce should be a last resort, when everything else has been tried and failed.

            Unfortunately, sometimes divorce is the only option.  When repeated attempts to fix the marriage have failed (including sincere attempts at marriage counseling and appeals to God for divine help), divorce may be better than staying in a destructive marriage.  A good analogy might be the way you would treat your own body in a medical emergency.  For instance, suppose you were in a terrible accident and your arm was badly injured.  You would do everything you could to save your arm.  However, if you couldn’t save the arm and the only way to save your life was to cut off your arm, you would have a surgeon cut it off in order to save your life.  You would be without an arm for the rest of your life, but at least you would be alive.  In the same way, you should do everything you can to save your marriage; but if you cannot save it and to stay in the marriage would devastate you, by all means get a divorce.  But understand this: there will always be a terrible scar. 

Invitation

To those of you who have suffered through a divorce (or who will suffer through one in the future), understand that Jesus is not against you.  Most likely, you divorced because it was forced upon you or else you could see no other way out.  And Jesus, who knows all things, knows your heart.  He is full of grace and mercy and love.  Come to him and know that he welcomes you with open arms.  Do not let the words he spoke 2,000 years ago in a different time and place when evil men were trying to trap him hinder you.  Jesus speaks on your behalf today and says, “I love you.  You are welcome.  Do not be ashamed.  I offer healing for your scars and your broken heart.”

Even if you believe today that your divorce was not justified—that for some reason you acted inappropriately—Jesus still offers forgiveness and grace.  There is no sin you have committed that puts you out of reach of God’s love in Jesus Christ.  If you recognize your fault and ask Jesus to forgive you, he will wash you clean.  Your sin will be forgotten forever by the Lord and you can make a fresh start from this day forward.  If you would like forgiveness for this or any other sin, pray to Jesus for forgiveness today.

Lastly, it may be that some of you are struggling in your marriage.  Maybe you are even contemplating a divorce.  Let me encourage you as strongly as I know how—talk to a pastor or a marriage counselor.  It may be that Jesus can heal the brokenness in your marriage and make your relationship stronger than you ever imagined.  I have seen it happen.  However, nothing will get better if you keep your struggles to yourself.  Talk to a pastor or marriage counselor they can help you start on a better road.  Or they may find out that a divorce is the best road for you to choose and then you can have the peace of mind in knowing you tried everything you could.