On A Mission From God

Acts 1:6-8
⁶ So when the apostles were with Jesus, they kept asking him, “Lord, has the time come for you to free Israel and restore our kingdom?”

⁷ He replied, “The Father alone has the authority to set those dates and times, and they are not for you to know. ⁸ But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere—in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

Introduction

            I am on a mission from God!  Now you say it:  “I am on a mission from God!”

            Do you believe that?

Jesus empowers his followers to successfully complete the mission of the Church and he gives us a plan for how to accomplish it.  The mission of the Church is to go and make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world.  Acts 1:8 gives us a plan to accomplish the mission.  Jesus said, “You will receive power… And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere…”

            I want you to notice something about this passage.  Jesus is trying to re-focus his followers on their mission.  They were so caught up in worrying about all their problems.  Notice in verse 6 it says, the apostles “…kept asking him, “Lord, has the time come for you to free Israel and restore our kingdom?”

            Israel was only about the size of New Jersey and they had almost always been subject to domination by foreign empires like Babylonia, Persia, Greece, and Rome.  As God’s chosen people, they yearned for God to intervene with supernatural power on behalf of Israel.

            Jesus tried to help his people see that the Kingdom of God is a spiritual kingdom where love of God and love for your neighbor is what really matters.  In the Lord’s Prayer, he taught them to pray, “Thy Kingdom come; Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven…”  So the Kingdom Jesus seeks to usher in is a kingdom where the will of God is done on earth the same way it is done in heaven. 

The religious leaders of Israel rejected Jesus’ Kingdom and crucified him.  Now Jesus was asking his disciples to carry on his mission—even if it meant a similar fate.  They were afraid and overwhelmed with the mission at hand.  How could they carry on Jesus’ mission?  The disciples yearned for Jesus to personally fix all the problems in their world.

            People today are also yearning for something.  In our community and even in our nation, people are yearning for something.  Some yearn for our nation to turn their hearts back to God.  Some yearn for our community to be more prosperous.  Some yearn for a government that is more responsive to the wants of the people.  Some yearn for a church that is energized and growing.  Sometimes, we look around at the mess around us and we think, “The only way for things to turn around is for Jesus to come back and intervene with supernatural power.”  We are a lot like the disciples in verse 6 who kept asking, “Lord, has the time come for you to free Israel and restore our kingdom?” 
            We might ask the question like this:  "Lord, has the time come for you to free the United States and restore our kingdom?" Or we may ask  Lord, has the time come for you to free Whitefield County and restore our kingdom?"  Or we may ask  Lord, has the time come for you to free Pleasant Grove and restore our kingdom?"

Tell People About Jesus

            Jesus understands our anxiety, but he wants his followers to shift their focus.  He answered his disciples question by saying, “The Father alone has the authority to set those dates and times [i.e. when Jesus will return and set up his Kingdom]...” 

One Day, Jesus is going to come back, but Jesus doesn’t want us to wait around and do nothing in the meantime.  Jesus wants his followers to stop focusing on the obstacles between us and the Kingdom of God and focus on the mission.  And so he states a plan of action to start working on, “Be my witnesses…  Tell people about me everywhere…”  And he even goes on to give them steps to follow—start in Jerusalem, then spread out to Judea, then go on to Samaria, and then expand to the ends of the earth.

            In the midst of the struggles of daily life with the problems of the world looming around us, it’s easy to feel like we can’t make a difference.  Jesus gives us a clear mission to focus on and a plan of action so we don’t get bogged down in worrying about all the tertiary problems around us.  It’s not complicated.  The mission is:  Make disciples of Jesus Christ.  How do we do it?  “Be my witnesses…  Tell people about me everywhere…”

            I am on a mission from God to tell people about Jesus!  Now you say it:  “I am on a mission from God to tell people about Jesus.” 

Empowered by the Spirit

            I used to think, “How can I make a difference, Lord?  I’m just one person.”  Perhaps you ask that question sometimes too.  “How can I make a difference?”  Do you realize, you are a powerful tool for Jesus Christ!  Jesus said, “You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you.”  The Bible tells us that every person who believes in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior has the power of God living in them.  That power is the Holy Spirit.  It is the actual Spirit of God living inside you.  It enables you to understand what Jesus wants you to do.  It enables you to be a faithful witness who wins people to Jesus because of the things you say and do.  It enables you to do amazing things!

            I am on a mission from God to tell people about Jesus and the Holy Spirit gives me the power to do it!  Now you say it:  “I am on a mission from God to tell people about Jesus and the Holy Spirit gives me the power to do it!”

            Jesus’ wisdom just amazes me sometimes.  He doesn’t let his Disciples off the hook and he doesn’t let us off the hook either.  When we say, “Lord, when are you gonna come down here and fix this mess for us?”  His response is, “Don’t you worry about that.  You just get out there and be a witness!”  For some reason, he doesn’t want to fix everything by himself (though he definitely could).  Jesus wants us to work at it.  There must be a lesson for us to learn in our participation.  Maybe our participation is part of the healing process—for us and for the world—kind of like spiritual therapy.  We have to do our part. 

Conclusion

            Be a witness.  You don’t have to beat people over the head with a Bible.  A witness is someone who tells people what they've seen.  Have you seen Jesus do something in your life or at your church?  Then tell someone.  You don’t have to go to Africa.  Start right where you are.  Tell your spouse.  Tell your children or grandchildren.  Tell your neighbor.  Tell your co-worker.  Simply tell them what you know.  Have you experienced Jesus’ love?  Tell someone. 
            Now say it again:  “I am on a mission from God to tell people about Jesus and the Holy Spirit gives me the power to do it!” 

Now get out there and do it!!!

Afterward

If you haven’t experienced Jesus in your life, then maybe you need help opening your eyes to see him.  I’d like to talk with you about that.  Seriously.  Send me an email or call my church office.  I want to talk with you—in private and confidentially.  I bet together we can discover some amazing things Jesus has done, is doing, or is going to do in your life.

The Truth As Far As I Can Tell... Openness

Matthew 27:51 – At that moment the curtain in the sanctuary of the Temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. 

In ancient Jerusalem, the High Priest was the only person who could approach God in the holiest place of the Temple.  A curtain kept everyone else out.  However, Jesus granted full access to God’s presence to anyone who wants it when he died on the cross for our sins.  At his death, an earthquake split the Temple curtain completely in two.  Now everyone may come into God’s presence through Jesus Christ.

We changed the code to the church door recently.  Please call the church office if you need it.  Does anyone remember when we started locking church doors?  It must have been before I was born in 1974.  Doors have been locked for as long as I can remember.  I have talked to some older church members who remember times when church doors weren’t locked.  People could come in whenever they wanted.  It’s kind of sad that those days are gone, isn’t it?  Today, we even keep the church doors locked when the office is open.  People have to ring a doorbell so the church secretary can check to see if it’s safe to let them in.  That’s the world we live in—a place where we need to keep our homes, our cars, and even our churches locked up tight.

I think some churches go too far though.  I was driving the other day and missed my turn.  I saw a church and decided to turn around in their parking lot, but I had to slam on the brakes as I turned in because they had a chain across the entrance.  I almost hit the chain with my car!  There were two entrances to that church parking lot and both were chained off!  I guess they really don’t want people in their parking lot!  Now what does it say to people that you chain off the parking lot of your church? (And no, I checked and that church was not out of business.) 

We try to strike a good balance at Pleasant Grove UMC.  We recognize the unfortunate necessity of keeping our doors locked, but we also wish to be as accessible as possible.  Our code lock is a good compromise.  The code lock helps us to keep the building secure and also allows us to grant access to trusted people.  Furthermore, we can change the code from time to time just in case the code may have gotten into the wrong hands. 

Now, we are never going to be as secure as a bank and I don’t think we should.  We’re not a bank.  We are a church.  Our goal is to be reasonably safe and secure, while still offering access.  Access is vital.  I mean come on, the slogan of the United Methodist Church is:  “Open hearts, open minds, open doors.”

Seriously, Pleasant Grove is not some exclusive place where only a few families or a small group of leaders have access.  Everyone is welcome.  Everyone is encouraged to participate.  Everyone is invited to come.  While we will do our best to keep our facility secure, we must also insist on an attitude of openness.  PGUMC is for everyone, just as Jesus is for everyone.  Of course, I’m no expert and I certainly don’t claim to know everything, but that’s the Truth as far as I can tell… 

Remember, God loves you and so do I!

An Idle Tale?

Luke 24:1-12 [Slides]
¹But very early on Sunday morning the women went to the tomb, taking the spices they had prepared. ² They found that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance. ³ So they went in, but they didn’t find the body of the Lord Jesus. ⁴ As they stood there puzzled, two men suddenly appeared to them, clothed in dazzling robes.

⁵ The women were terrified and bowed with their faces to the ground. Then the men asked, “Why are you looking among the dead for someone who is alive? ⁶ He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead! Remember what he told you back in Galilee, ⁷ that the Son of Man must be betrayed into the hands of sinful men and be crucified, and that he would rise again on the third day.”

⁸ Then they remembered that he had said this. ⁹ So they rushed back from the tomb to tell his eleven disciples—and everyone else—what had happened. ¹⁰ It was Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and several other women who told the apostles what had happened. ¹¹ But the story sounded like nonsense to the men, so they didn’t believe it. ¹² However, Peter jumped up and ran to the tomb to look. Stooping, he peered in and saw the empty linen wrappings; then he went home again, wondering what had happened.

An Idle Tale?

            Verse 11 is the key verse for this blog.  In the NRSV it says, “But these words seemed to them an idle tale, and they did not believe them.”

            When the women told the Apostles they’d found an empty tomb and two men dressed in dazzling robes saying Jesus had risen, the Apostles dismissed it as an idle tale.  They didn’t believe.

             And that’s the way many people view the Easter story today (maybe some of you view it that way too).  You think, “It’s a great story.  It’s inspired a lot of people.  But it’s just a story—an idle tale.”  

            What if that’s true?  What if Jesus was just another nice guy?  What if he was just another figure like the prophets and kings and great world leaders who taught us some good lessons and then died and the story ends?  What if Jesus’ bones are still lying in an unmarked tomb somewhere in Palestine?

            Peter had to see for himself.  It was too important a question to leave unanswered.  So Peter jumped up, ran to the tomb, and looked inside.  He saw the tomb was empty, save for the empty linen wrappings.  And he went back home puzzling over what had happened.  He still had not seen the “risen” Jesus.

            We have to be like Peter in this story.  We have to go and look for Jesus ourselves.  It’s too important a question to just write off as an idle tale without an investigation.

Why I believe Jesus is Alive

            Now, every person has to decide for themselves if Jesus is really alive.  I have decided he is.  But I can’t decide for you.  No one can decide for you.  You have to decide for yourself.  But I would like to share with you why I believe Jesus is alive; and maybe this will encourage you to have the faith to see the risen Christ.  So briefly, I want to share 7 reasons I believe Jesus is risen.
 

First of all, I asked God to show me the Truth and He did.  I grew up going to church and knew the story of Jesus.  But when I was 20-years-old, I really began questioning the validity of everything I had been told about Jesus and Christianity.  What if it was all just idle tales?  So I prayed to God to show me.  I prayed with all sincerity, “God, show me the Truth—the only Truth that really is.  I’m willing to reject everything know if You will show me the real Truth.”  And I began a quest to know the Truth.  I studied about Christianity, the Bible, other religions, and even atheism.  And what I found was the Christian faith Jesus brought to our world makes sense.  I found I believed it was the Truth God wanted me to know.  God answered my prayer.  As Jesus said, “Seek and ye shall find.  Knock and the door will be opened to you.”

The second reason I believe Jesus is risen is Jesus changed my life.  I was not a very good person growing up.  I had a terrible temper.  I was violent.  I enjoyed being “bad” and looked for ways to actively rebel.  I bullied other children.  I was a vandal and a thief.  Now, I understand i was just a child and how "bad" can a child be?  It wasn't the degree to which I was bad that mattered.  It was the path I was on; it was the trajectory of my life that wasn't good.  If I had stayed on the road I traveled as a child and as a young teenager, I would have lived a very immoral life.  I do not know how it would have turned out, but it would not have been godly at all.  I know how it turned out for many of my friends who stayed on that road.  Some went to jail.  Some fell into addictions.  Some wasted years of their lives before they turned around.  Some died and others committed suicide.  Some I know are still wasting their lives in rebellion to God.

That could have been me, but my path changed because I decided to follow Christ.  I became a Christian when I was 8, but it wasn’t until I was 17 that I started actively following Jesus down a different path—a path to life instead of death.  I am who I am today because Jesus is alive and not dead.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not perfect.  There’s still a lot that needs to change.  But because my Jesus lives, I know I’m gonna get there One Day!

The third reason I know Jesus rose is because I have been resurrected.  I don’t mean that I have died and come back to life—though I know that will happen at the end of my days on earth.  What I mean is, I have faced times in my life when my strength ran out, when I just couldn’t go on.  I have even wondered at times, how can I continue to be a minister.  But then Jesus fills me with new life, new energy, and I come back stronger than I was before.  That kind of resilience is not because of me—it’s the resurrected Christ living in me.  It’s the power of Jesus who conquered death and rose from the grave that empowers me to rise from any gloomy situation in this life and will one day even raise me to new life when my body wears out and I die.

Fourth, I know Jesus is alive, because I have seen miracles.  I don’t have time to recount all the times I have seen Jesus intervene through miracles.  I have seen people healed.  I have seen doors open that should have been closed.  But let me just tell you one miracle that involved people in this church.  

In 2013, when we took a group on a mission trip to El Salvador, we carried thousands of dollars of medicine with us to treat illness among the people we went to serve.  And just as our plane was about to take off from Atlanta, we learned from our partners in El Salvador that the paperwork for our medicine did not go though and our medicine would be confiscated at customs in El Salvador.  Our whole team prayed and asked our friends to pray too.  When we arrived in El Salvador and worked our way through customs, the authorities allowed everyone on our team to pass right through without checking our bags for medicine.  The only person they stopped was Jason Denson.  They asked him if he had any medicine in his bag and he said “yes”.  The guard opened his bag, glanced right at the medicine, and then closed the bag and told Jason he was free to go.  Our team loaded the bus as fast as we could and left to begin our week of mission work with all of our medicine intact.  That is the work of a living Savior, not a dead man still in a grave.

Number five, I have had personal encounters with Jesus.  I always feel Jesus is personally present when I pray earnestly.  Now, Jesus has never appeared to me in a bodily form.  I’ve never touched his nail scarred hands like Thomas did in the Bible.  However, when I talk to Jesus, I know he is present in a special way—and I am as sure of his presence as I am that you are here with me today.  I have also heard him speak to me—not in an audible voice—but I have known he was speaking to me, telling me something, comforting me, or guiding me to answers.  It was a Voice from outside of myself, something divine that was a higher power than anything found in this world.

Once, when I was a pastor of a small church and had reached a very low point in my ministry and was so worn out I didn’t know how to keep going, I prayed and Jesus encouraged me as I listened to a praise song.  The words of the band became the voice of Christ as they reminded me, “I Am a Friend of God!  I am a friend of God!  I am a friend of God!  He calls me friend!”  And the words became Jesus’ words to me.  “Don’t give up!  Remember, you are a friend of God!  He can carry you through this.  He has great plans for you.”  

Dead men don’t speak.  Dead men can’t make their presence known.  Dead men can’t encourage you and give you strength to persevere.  I serve a Risen Savior and he calls me friend!

A sixth reason I know Jesus is alive: I have known many people who have been completely transformed by Christ.  I have friends who have been delivered from addiction that they couldn’t beat on their own.  I have known lives that—like mine—have been changed from selfish pursuits to godly lives; and these have changed not only their lives, but have saved their families too.

I know one woman personally, who was molested as a child and grew up very wounded and damaged because of it.  (I will not share her name, but my wife and I know her personally.) And in her marriage she struggled for years because of her own baggage and because of her husband’s sins too.  And she became promiscuous and cheated on her husband and was months into divorce proceedings and a custody battle over their children.  And then, because of the miraculous life-changing power of a risen Christ, she and her husband somehow reconciled and she found healing from her wounded sexuality and they have been happily married now, following Christ together, for around 10 years since that whole episode.  Christ is alive and changing lives everyday!

The last reason I believe Jesus is alive is because of history. Since the beginning of the world, civilizations have risen because of their economic, political, and military power.  But just as soon as they rise, they quickly fall.  At the time of Christ, the Romans were the greatest power in the world.  No one could stand against them.  And yet, Jesus—who was by all worldly measures insignificant, who had no political power, no army to command, no wealth to speak of, who never wrote a single book or held a single governmental post—changed the world by being executed and buried in a grave after only 3 years of active ministry.  A dead man could not do what Jesus did.  Many men and women in history have impacted the world through martyrdom, but Jesus turned the world completely upside down because he not only died, but also rose to life again.  And so the very empire that condemned Jesus to death, embraced his religion within 300 years.  And the Christian faith, which started out as only a handful of followers proclaiming their dead leader had risen, became the largest religion in the world—over a quarter of the world’s population adheres to Christianity today.  This came about because our Lord is not dead, but alive. 

Seeing is Believing

These are some of the reasons I believe Jesus is alive.  What I've shared are not scientific arguments or theological reasons (though there are those as well).  What I've tried to share are my own personal experience.  I am like those first women who went to the tomb and saw the angels proclaiming Jesus had risen.  I am like Peter who ran to the tomb and found it empty and later saw the living Jesus for himself.  Jesus is alive!  He is no longer in the grave!

You may hear my message and think it’s all just nonsense.  You may think it’s just an “idle tale.”  But don’t just dismiss it.  It’s too important. If what I’ve said is true, it changes everything.  And if you are hungry to see him, Jesus may appear to you too.  But you’ve got to be like Peter who ran to the tomb to see if the “idle tale” had anything to it.  And you’ve got to have eyes of faith to see.  You’ve got to let go of your cynicism.  You’ve got to have the faith of a child (as Jesus said).  That goes against human nature; more so in some who are more skeptical than others.  You’ve got to want with all your heart to know the Truth and ask God to show you the Truth.  You’ve got to be willing to be changed and know that Jesus can change you.  Then maybe you can start to see the miracles as you surround yourself with other believers who have been transformed by the power of the risen Savior; and you may encounter the risen Lord for yourself.  

Dealing with Disappointment

Philippians 2:5, John 13:3, Luke 22:14-15, Matthew 26:36

Introduction

            Palm Sunday fell on the first day of spring this year.  I love springtime.  The short days and cold, gloomy days of winter are just depressing to me.  Then, spring comes and it revives my soul.  New life begins to bud and it has a wondrous effect on me.  Yet there are still disappointments in life regardless of the season. 

I suppose it was springtime when Jesus faced his most disappointing week.  The week from Palm Sunday to Easter was a very difficult one for Jesus—full of tremendous highs and awful lows.  The week began with a Palm Sunday parade filled with great expectations; but what followed was disappointment after disappointment.  Of course, we know how the story ends—with the ultimate triumph of Easter morning, with Christ rising from the tomb.  But it took a week of disappointments before the glory of Easter was realized. 

            Meditating on Christ's final week on earth made me think a lot about disappointments and how Jesus coped with them and how we might cope with them better too.  Philippians 2:5 says, “You must have the same attitude Christ Jesus had.”    Jesus dealt with his disappointing week in a few key ways.  Perhaps these can help us through dark times as well. 

Faith

John 13:3 – “3 Jesus knew that the Father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God.  

The first factor that strengthens us when we face disappointments is faith in God.  Think about what Jesus did during his last week on earth.  In the midst of disappointments, Jesus had an unwavering faith in God’s ultimate will.  Jesus was not fooled by the exulting crowd waving palm branches.  He knew that the people of Jerusalem would reject him in just a few days.  However, he was able to see beyond that disappointment to the ultimate victory of God.  For though God’s kingdom would not be realized in Jerusalem that week, ultimately—because of Jesus’ sacrifice—God’s plan of salvation was accomplished.  Jesus had faith in God’s ultimate will and that steeled him when disappointments came.  Perhaps that is how he was able to keep preaching and teaching and speaking the truth about God’s coming Kingdom, even though he knew people would reject his message and hang him on a cross.  Perhaps that is how Jesus was able to wash his disciples’ feet even though he knew one would betray him and they all would desert him.

            Our disappointments are tempered when our faith in God puts them in perspective.  God can use our disappointments to make us stronger; and He can and does turn our disappointments into victories.  We can endure disappointments and continue on the road God has set before us because we know that ultimately, if we have faith in God, we will have “Victory in Jesus”.  And on that Day, the glory we find will overshadow any disappointment we face in this lifetime.

            But faith only soothes our disappointments; it does not usually cancel them.  We still feel the sting when friends betray us.  We still feel sorrow when someone we love dies. 

            Many years ago, Kelly’s brother, Wesley, went down to Florida for Spring Break with a bunch of his friends.  Well, they had been drinking one night and then went out into the surf to swim.  And when they all came back in, there was on missing.  They searched frantically for their friend until they found the guy’s body floating in the waves.  They dragged him up on to the shore and tried to revive him, but nothing worked.  Their friend was gone.  Their Spring Break turned into a terrible disappointment.

            Now you take a Spring Break tragedy like that and you put yourself into the shoes of those friends.  What are we to do in the mean time?  What comfort can we find now—right now while we are hurting so bad?  So there are other things—when accompanied by faith in God—that can help us cope with disappointment.   

Friends

Luke 22:14-15 – 14 When the time came, Jesus and the apostles sat down together at the table. 15 Jesus said, “I have been very eager to eat this Passover meal with you before my suffering begins.

Jesus coped with his disappointing week by spending time with his closest friends.  Each day, he would teach in the city and then at night he would retreat to the quiet Mount of Olives with his disciples—his twelve closest friends.  And of course, on the very last night—when his anxiety was heaviest—Jesus shared one last meal with his friends (that meal which we have come to call the Lord’s Supper or Holy Communion).  When we are overtaken by deep disappointment, it can be very helpful to withdraw a little from all your casual acquaintances and surround yourself with your closest friends. 

One of the biggest disappointments Kelly and I faced together was a miscarriage in December of 2005.  (This was before Abigail was born.)  We were both looking forward to having our third child.  We were already picking out names and had become attached to the tiny new life forming inside Kelly’s womb.  And then, as we went together to the doctor’s office expecting to see a sonogram our tiny little baby’s heart beating—we instead got the disappointing news that the heart had stopped and the child was dead. 

One of the best things we did to cope with our disappointment was to get away for a few days.  A friend loaned us a cabin in Dahlonega.  We left Gavin and Grace with our parents and we just took some time to get away—just the two of us.  Kelly is my closest friend.  To be away from everyone else and just be with her was very therapeutic.  And I think the same was true for her.

So when we have disappointments, it helps to have an unwavering faith in God’s ultimate victory and to surround ourselves with our closest and dearest friends.  Can we learn anything else from Jesus’ disappointing week?  Well, Jesus also sought strength and support from God through prayer.  And I think we should do the same.   

Fervent Prayer

Matthew 26:36 – 36 Then Jesus went with them to the olive grove called Gethsemane, and he said, “Sit here while I go over there to pray.” 

After sharing his final meal with his disciples, Jesus went into the garden to pray.  And I want you to note the tone of his prayer.  It was a very honest, heartfelt prayer.  Jesus didn’t use flowery language.  He wasn’t trying to impress God or anybody else.  He just poured out his heart.  “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”[i]  And he prayed, “My Father! If this cup cannot be taken away until I drink it, your will be done.”[ii]  Jesus did not seek to change God’s will, but sincerely contemplated whether there was any other way to fulfill God’s plan.  And when, through prayer, Jesus determined there was no other way, he sought and found strength and determination from God.

            Prayer is indispensable for us too when we face disappointment.  It’s not just a way for us to ask God to change our situation—though God does sometimes change the situation.  More importantly, prayer is a time for us to honestly express our disappointment—even if our disappointment is with God.  God can handle our disappointment and through prayer He can help us let them go.  God can give us strength and determination to pass through our disappointments.  So telling God our disappointments is very important.

            Faith, family, and fervent prayer helped Jesus during his most disappointing week.   

Conclusion

            The final days of Jesus’ life teach Christians we must pass through the disappointment of the cross before we reach the victory of Easter.  We want to skip the difficulties.  We like to dwell on happy days and victory songs.  But let us never forget Jesus’ words when he said in Mark 8:34, “If any of you wants to be my follower… …you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross, and follow me.”  Sometimes the victory is not just what happens when we rise again on the other side of disappointment.  Sometimes the true victory is the way we live while we are in the midst of terrible trials.  For then God’s power is truly revealed in us as it was in Jesus on the long road to Calvary.   

Christians are not immune to trials and disappointments in this life.  Yet we have something others don’t have.  Jesus walks with us through our trials.  And we have an assurance that something far better awaits us on the other side.  Don’t you want to take hold of the hope Jesus offers today?  Don’t you want Jesus to be the Lord and Savior of your life?  Then why not ask Jesus into your heart today? 

---

[i] Matthew 26:39

[ii] Matthew 26:42

5 Traits of Deep Friendships

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Introduction

God designed us to have deep relationships.  God created us to have a deep relationship with Him--to know Him, to talk to God, to love and admire Him.  However, God created us for more than just a human/God relationship.  God created Adam and Eve so we could have deep relationships with other people too.

A deep relationship is a profound, caring connection of mutual support, cooperation, and trust.  Deep relationships can be with family, friends, someone we date, a spouse, or a co-worker.  However we find them, our souls yearn for deep relationships.  The goal of this blog is to share five traits about strong, faithful, meaningful friendships. 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

⁹ Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. ¹⁰ If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. ¹¹ Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? ¹² A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Types of Friends

As part of our discussion today, I want to share 5 traits of true friends.  But before we get to those traits, it will be important to discuss the different types of friends we find.  As I see it, there are three different kinds of friends and it is vital to understand the differences.  Friends will fall along a spectrum with these general categories.

            First off, some of your friends will be companions.  People who are companions keep company with each other.  Another word for this might be “acquaintance.”  Now, a companion is a sort of friend, but not at a deep level.  You probably aren’t deeply bonded with a companion; your friendship with a companion is often unplanned.  For instance, you may associate with your companions because of a mutual interest—maybe you work or go to school together, you might share a hobby, or maybe you have a mutual friend with whom you both hang out.  Thus, you may spend time with a companion—you may even enjoy each other’s company—but you didn’t deliberately choose your companion, it just sort of happened.  Companions are usually friendly to each other, but they aren’t necessarily deeply committed to each other.  Companions may grow to become your best friend, but at this stage it is only a very casual relationship.  And that’s vital to remember, because trusting a companion like a close friend can get you into real trouble. 

           

            Another type of friendship is a mentor/mentee relationship.  A mentor is someone who teaches or gives advice to someone less experienced.  A mentee is someone who is being mentored.  Mentors usually have their mentees best interest in mind and give freely to encourage or improve their mentee.  Charlie Green was my pastor when I took my first job as a minister.  Charlie saw potential in me and took me under his wing to teach me how to be a good pastor.  Now, I didn't have a lot to offer Charlie, but he sacrificially helped me become a better minister.  He was a mentor to me and I have always appreciated him for it.  Now, over the years, our friendship has grown deeper than just that of a mentor and mentee.  It is more of a mutual relationship now.
            It’s important to note that mentor/mentee relationships aren’t an equal or mutual friendship.  Knowledge, expertise, or advice is being exchanged.  It’s somewhat like a business or consumer relationship.  It’s important for the mentee to remember this and give their mentor some space and/or be grateful and respectful.            

            Another type of friend is what I call a true friend.  A true friend is a much deeper relationship than what you have with a companion.  And unlike a mentor/mentee relationship, a true friendship is mutual—with both people contributing equally to the friendship.  A true friend is a real blessing.  They are someone you can trust in thick and thin because they have been with you in thick and thin.
            Listen to what the Bible says about friends. Proverbs 17:17 – "A friend loves at all times…"  Proverbs 18:24 – "...there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."  John 15:13 – "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

Let me give you five traits of a true friend.  These five traits will help you recognize a true friend and also teach you how to be a true friend to others.  I hope you will also notice that Jesus demonstrated all five of these traits.  So ultimately, if you want to see what a true friend is—look at Jesus Christ.  If you want to be a true friend, seek to treat people like Jesus treats you. 

Five Traits of True Friends

Number one – sacrifice.  True friends sacrifice for each other.  Jesus was the ultimate example of a true friend—he laid down his life for us.  Not all friends will sacrifice to that extent (though some might), but a true friend will sacrifice.  A true friend will give up his time for you, will sacrifice his comfort for you, will go to great lengths for you.  And the deeper the friendship, the farther friends will go to sacrifice for each other. 

My best friend is Eddie Bradford.  We have been friends for 21 years.  Eddie is the kind of friend I can call at 3:00 AM if I have a real problem (and yes, I have called him at 3:00 AM before).  The same goes for Eddie.  He has called me at times when there was no one else he could talk to.  Eddie and I would do almost anything for each other.  That’s a true friend. 

Number two – unconditional love.  Christ died for us while we were still sinners.  He didn’t die for us because we deserved it.  He did it because we didn’t deserve it, but needed it.  That’s true friendship.  A true friend loves us unconditionally.  They are our friend—not because we deserve it—but purely as a gift of love.  This is a deep level of friendship.  That is why a true friend will often stick with you when times are terrible—when you are at your lowest point and have nothing useful to offer.  That kind of friendship can make all the difference in the world.  Wouldn’t you like to have that kind of friend?  Maybe you should seek to be that kind of friend to someone else.

Number three – trust.  A true friend is someone you can trust.  They won’t go around town telling everyone what you said when you told them something confidentially.  You know a true friend always has your best interest in mind.  You can count on them.  They will be there for you when you need it.

People often get into trouble with their “friends” when they misunderstand how trust and friendship work.  Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”  Remember, companions are not true friends.  They are just casual acquaintances.  But when you trust an acquaintance like a true friend, you can get in real trouble.  Trust must be earned.  Have your friends earned your trust or are they more like companions?  Furthermore, what kind of friend have you been?  Are you trust worthy or are you acting more like a mere companion?

Number four – healthy boundaries.  True friends develop healthy personal boundaries.  In her blog about Christian Friendship, Mary Fairchild writes:  “If you feel smothered in a friendship, something is wrong. Likewise, if you feel used or abused, something is amiss. Recognizing what's best for someone and giving that person space are signs of a healthy relationship.”  Do your friendships have healthy personal boundaries? 

Number five – truth.  True friends tell the truth.  Do you want to know how my best friend and became friends?  Eddie was the new youth pastor at East Cobb UMC in Marietta.  I was a volunteer working with the youth group when he started.  After a few months on the job, Eddie called all the volunteers and asked our opinion about how he was doing.  I told Eddie what I really liked about his teaching style (he really was doing a good job).  However, I also told Eddie a few things he wasn’t doing well.  Now, some people would have gotten upset, but Eddie recognized I wasn’t trying to complain or be mean.  I genuinely wanted to help him do his very best.  Eddie told me a few years later—after we’d become good friends—how much he appreciated my honesty that day on the phone.  Not only had it helped him be a better youth minister, it revealed to him that I would be honest with him—and that’s the kind of friend he wanted.

Proverbs 27:6 shares God’s great wisdom about this when it says, “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.”  A true friend will be honest with you.  Are you being honest with your friends?  Now, to be sure, you have to have some tact.  You don’t always want to be complaining to your friends about their every flaw.  Think about it.  If you have a booger hanging from your nose, would you rather your friend tell you or just let you walk around all day like that?  What if it was something more important than a booger?  You'd want your friend to be honest with you even if it was hard or embarrassing or upsetting.

The Truest Friend

The truest friend you will ever have is Jesus Christ.  John 15:13 – “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”  And John 15:15 says, "Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me."

It’s amazing that Jesus calls us his friends.  He has already done everything to earn your trust.  He always has your best interest in mind.  He loves you unconditionally.  He tells you the truth even when it’s hard.  But he won’t force you to be his friend.  You have to decide.

Until you let Jesus be your friend, all your other friendships and relationships will struggle.  But when you get your heart right with Jesus, everything else will start to fall into place—your family, your friends, your romantic life... everything.  Why don’t you turn to Jesus today—let him be your True Friend, your Lord, and your Savior?

 

Click here for 17 more tips people shared about how to make friends and be a good friend.