Ask Pastor Chris 2 - Questions About Forgiveness

Introduction

            I want to thank everyone who has sent in questions over the past few weeks.  They've been thought provoking.  I will try to post comments about each one.  If you have a question, you can still post it in a comments section at the bottom of this blog.
            Today I will address a few questions about forgiveness.  And I will end with a challenge to consider two important questions, so be thinking about them as you read.  The first question is: what is something for which you need to be forgiven?  The second question is: what is something you need to forgive?  I hope God will speak to you about both of these as you read. 

 Luke 17:3-4³ So watch yourselves!  “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. ⁴ Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.

Matthew 18:21-22 ²¹ Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”

²² “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven.”

What Did Jesus Mean?

Here we have two texts where Jesus shares wisdom about forgiveness.  We are to forgive generously—extravagantly and recklessly.  Jesus says even if you have to forgive the same person seven times in one day, do it!  So does that mean we should forgive just seven times?  No!   70 X 7 times!  (Some versions say 7 X 7 or 77 times)  Sooooo… Are we supposed to forgive people 49 times, 77 times, or 490 times?  The point is not the number.  Jesus means you should never stop forgiving people.  Just keep forgiving as many times as it takes.  

What is Forgiveness?

Have you ever tried to define forgiveness.  It's harder than you think.  So I looked it up online.  According to Wikipedia: Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.  Let me highlight a few elements in this definition.  

 

·       Forgiveness is intentional – The first step in forgiveness, is recognizing that you have been offended.  This might seem obvious, but you can't skip this.  Sometimes people who grow up in the church skip this step because we've been told to forgive so much we almost think we don't have a right to be offended.  When someone does wrong to us, we immediately say, "Oh, it's alright.  Don't worry about it."  The Bible does say we should be quick to forgive, but we also need to recognize--especially if the offence is serious--that someone has mistreated us.  You cannot truly forgive if you don't recognize a mistreatment and glossing over it may lead to problems like passive/aggressive behavior.

·       Forgiveness is voluntary – It must be your choice to forgive.  It is not coerced.  No one can force you to forgive.  You must be the one who decides.

·       Forgiveness is releasing – Forgiveness let’s go of the debt.  Forgiveness releases the offender from the need to repay the debt.  More importantly though, forgiveness releases the victim from expecting repayment.  Some debts simply cannot be repaid.  When you keep expecting to be paid when a debt can or never will be repaid, you only keep yourself locked in a prison.

·       Forgiveness is increasing love toward the offender.  That doesn't mean you will necessarily like the offender (that is not love).  Remember, love is not a warm fuzzy feeling about someone because they make you feel good.  Love is sacrificial.  Love is what Jesus did for us on the cross. 

A Financial Illustration:

            Let me run through a simple example of forgiveness using a financial illustration.  Suppose you loan your son $1 million dollars.  He spends all the money and then you realize he cannot repay the $1 million and he never will.  You could:  get angry about it and cling to your anger, hate him for it, hold a grudge, and throw a fit.  You could sue your son for the money (in which case, you may get some money, but nothing close to the full amount; he simply can't repay what he doesn't have).  You could plot to ruin his life to make him pay for his mistake, but what good would that do?  None of these will things you could do will actually do anything to collect on the debt.  It is uncollectable.

            So instead of seeking revenge, you intentionally decide to forgive the debt.  This is voluntary, not forced.  You release your son from the debt.  He no longer owes you and you do not resent him for it.  The debt and any negative emotions related to it are erased.  In this case, you don’t get your money, but you are free from fretting about it; you are free from the need to plot and strategize, and worry about it or from making trouble for your son.  You don't get repaid, but you can move on from the pain of the broken trust.  You can have a new relationship with your son, so you forgive him and then you love your son, genuinely wanting what’s best for him, despite his failure to repay you.

 

            Well, you may never have a million dollars to loan, but we all know of real life debts that cannot be repaid.  How do you repay someone for a public humiliation?  What are you going to say?  "Ok, you humiliated me last week so I get to humiliate you this week and then we will be even."  is that really going to make things even?  What about a burglary?  A burglar might replace things they stole and go to jail, but how do they repay the psychological damage done to a family?  Can a drunk driver ever pay off a debt for someone they’ve killed in an accident?  What about their family?  What about murder?  Well, we have the death penalty, but even the death penalty cannot erase the debt.  Your loved one who has been murdered can never be brought back--even by the death of the murder.

What Forgiveness is Not: Now that we know what forgiveness is, let's take a look at what forgiveness is not. 

·       Forgiveness is not condoning – Condoning is failing to see the action as wrong and in need of forgiveness.  Many people struggle to forgive, because they think it somehow condones what the offender has done.  Not so.  Forgiveness does not in any way condone evil actions.  To the contrary, it recognizes that evil was committed, and chooses to fogive it.

·       Forgiveness is not excusing – Excusing is saying the offender is not responsible for their action.  (Excusing is like saying a person had a terrible childhood and so they aren't responsible for what they did...)  You can forgive someone and still hold them accountable for their actions.  If someone robs you, you can forgive them and still prosecute them. Your forgiveness does not necessarily cancel the consequences of their actions.  It simply means, you have let go of the anger and hurt about the offence in your own heart.  Love may actually require you to hold people accountable for their sake and/or for the sake of society.

·       Forgiveness is not forgetting – The expression “forgive and forget” is not biblical.  I have searched the Scriptures and I cannot find it.  Jesus wants us to forgive, but Jesus did not teach us, nor does he expect us, to forget.  In many cases, it is not wise to forget an offence.  You should forgive someone who cheats you, but it would not be wise to forget what they did.  Don’t hold a grudge, but be aware that they may try to cheat you again.

·       Forgiveness is not reconciliation – Reconciliation is the restoration of a relationship.  You can forgive someone without reconciling or putting yourself back in harm’s way.  In some cases, reconciliation would not be wise or healthy. 

 

            One question that came in was: “Does forgiving someone mean you let them continually repeat offenses against you?” The answer is: No, because forgiveness is not reconciliation. 
            Reconciliation may not be necessary if the person is a stranger because there is no relationship to rebuild. You can’t reconcile a relationship you didn’t have in the first place.  One of my members at a previous church was a very sweet, prayerful, and godly women.  However, Suzy had a terrible accident.  She wrecked her car into a motorcyclist.  It was an accident, but it was Suzy's fault and the motorcyclist was nearly killed.  Suzy felt terrible about it and asked if I would visit the family in the ICU.  I did and expressed Suzy's remorse and prayed for the family.  Thankfully, they were Christians and understood forgiveness.  They forgave Suzy, but they didn't need to reconcile with her because there was no relationship to rebuild.  Furthermore, I believe they even went on to sue Suzy (really her insurance company) to try and recoup the money they needed for medical expenses (as they should have).  So we seen in this a few elements we've discussed.  First, that reconciliation is not always necessary as apart of forgiveness.  And second, you can forgive and still hold people accountable.
            Sometime, reconciliation is not advisable.  Reconciliation is not wise or healthy if it would be dangerous or result in abuse.  Reconciliation may not be wise or healthy if the person is unrepentant, otherwise they may feel it is ok to do the same thing again and they are likely to hurt you again (and again and again…). 
            There is also such a thing as partial or limited reconciliation. That means you re-establish a limited relationship with someone.   We find examples of this frequently after a divorce where children are involved.  You may never fully reconcile with your ex (and there are circumstances where full reconciliation may not be wise), but if you have children together and share custody, you probably need to reconcile to some degree just to cooperate as parents with joint custody.

Why Forgive?   

            Why should we forgive? I mean, if it is so complicated and hard, why should we even bother?  We forgive because Jesus forgave us and he asks us to forgive others.  Psalm 65:3, "Though we are overwhelmed by our sins, you forgive them all."  Often, the thing that keeps us from forgiving someone is thinking we are better than them. We say, "How could you do that? I would never do that!" And so we feel they don't deserve to be forgiven. If you think you have not sinned, or if you think you are better than someone else, you need to rethink. All of us are guilty of sin. And all sins are equally evil in God’s sight. Therefore, you are no better than anyone else. 
            Your sins--regardless of how small you feel they are--led to Jesus horrible death.  Though he was completely innocent, he was arrested, abused, tortured, and crucified to atone for your sin.  Yet, despite this, Jesus willingly died on the cross to forgive your sin.  If Jesus went through all that for you, how can you refuse to forgive others when Jesus asks you to? 
            We forgive because it is the only way we can be healed.  Holding on to a grudge is like you drinking poison and expecting it to hurt the other person. It’s ludicrous.  Refusing to forgive creates bitterness in your heart that will poison everything you do.  It will make you a bitter, angry person--even with people you love.  It will hinder your ability to trust others—even people who haven’t done anything wrong.  It will hurt your relationship with God.  Matthew 6:14-15, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
            We forgive because it frees us.  Proverbs 17:9, "Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends."  We are happier when we let go of our grudges.  It enables us to have better relationships with God and with people.

Forgiveness is Hard

             In just a moment, I’m going to ask you to pray about one thing for which you need to be forgiven and one thing you need to forgive.  But before I do, I want to share my two things.  First of all, one thing I need to forgive are church members who have disappointed me.  I have been a minister for 17 years and it is always very hurtful to be betrayed by a church member.  You would think a minister would have the whole forgiveness thing down after 17 years, but it can be very difficult.  I can still think back to a time in 2004 when some church members went behind my back and tried to have me replaced as the church's youth pastor.  It was very hurtful and the pain of their betrayal still lingers in my heart.  I need to let that go, as I forgive other betrayals. 
            Sometimes, though, it is not a blatant betrayal that I need to forgive.  You know, I pour my heart and soul into a church and it really hurts when a member of my church leaves to attend another church.  It is especially hurtful when I hear things like:  they didn't feel like they were being fed or they liked the music over there better or they had friends at that other church.  And I need to let go of my disappointment and just forgive, because I know I'm not perfect either.
            I realize I need to be forgiven because I have made mistakes as a minister.  I have not always been the pastor people needed me to be.  I have not always visited like I should--either because I didn't know or I was not able or (sometime) because I didn't want to.  And people have been so gracious to me.  People have forgiven my mistakes.  Often, I'm sure, I have hurt people and they have forgiven me and I wasn't even aware of it.  And I'm so thankful God has forgiven me and that people have been gracious and forgiven me.  And so I think if God and people have been so gracious with me, I should be gracious and forgive others too.

Challenge
            So now I would like to challenge you to take a moment pray about your own situation.  What is one thing for which you need to be forgiven and what is one thing you need to forgive?  Pray about it. I invite you to go even further and write it down on a slip of paper.  Then, after you've prayed to God about it, burn that slip of paper as a symbol of letting it go forever.

Ask Pastor Chris (a short, quick answer to a question about being single or married)

Here's a quick answer to a question I received Sunday.  The question: "Does God ask us to get married and raise a family?"

My answer:  Not necessarily.  American society puts a lot of pressure on people to find their "true love" and get married and raise a family.  Unfortunately, churches usually follows society's lead on this without really thinking what God wants.  God has a better plan.  Both remaining single and getting married are equally acceptable to God.  Marriage and children are the more usual path people follow and can be a beautiful expression of God's love.  Furthermore, a healthy marriage can help with spiritual growth, is God's plan for enjoying the gift of sex, and provides the best means for conceiving and raising children.  On the other hand, remaining single is also a valid and helpful expression of the human experience.  Jesus remained single and said, "...some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven." (Matthew 19:12).  The Apostle Paul reasoned that a married person has to divide their attention between their spouse and serving God; however, a single person can focus all their attention on the Lord's work (see 1 Corinthians 7:32-35).  Whether or not to have children can follow a similar line of reasoning.  A couple can be married and not have children. This could be by choice or because they are unable.  Raising children can be a wonderful blessing.  It is a great honor to love your children unconditionally and it is perhaps the greatest way to evangelize the world, as we teach our children to have faith in Jesus Christ.  On the other hand, raising kids is difficult and requires a lot of time, energy, and resources.  A couple without children can devote more to each other and to God's work.  Christians must understand life with more clarity than the unbelieving world around us.  We should take the lead in accepting, valuing, and supporting people in the variety of ways life is lived--single, married, with and without children.  Each is a beautiful gift from God to be embraced (not merely endured until we become like everybody else says we should be). 

For more information about what the Bible says on the subjects of singleness, marriage, and raising children, see:  Genesis 2:18-25, Matthew 19:1-12, Hebrews 13:4, Mark 10:1-12, and 1 Corinthians 7.

10 Things Important for Marriage (and Life)

10 Things Important for Marriage (and Life)

Adapted from Advice Given by Ron and Marianne Snyder

1.    Put God First – There are only 2 ways to live your life, with God and without God.  Living life without God will not work.  You are not God and you do not have all the answers.  You have limited strength and resources and at some point they will run out.  You need someone bigger, smarter, and stronger; and the only one who can do that is God.

2.    Embrace your real identity and the fact that you have a perfect heavenly father – Your earthly father is likely to have failed you at some point—even if they were a good father,  That’s because our earthly father is not designed to be everything for us.  No one is—not your parents, friends, or your spouse.  You may have an earthly father that you see as less than perfect, but remember you have a perfect heavenly father who loves you and is always there to provide for you.  Remember who God says you are as His child, a Prince of the King of kings.  Everything He has is yours.  Seek to know Him better and those riches will be your blessings.

3.    Love one another – From Ephesians 5, we learn:  Man is the head of the marriage as Christ is the head of the church.  Man is to love his wife, the way Christ loves you unconditionally—putting her first in all things.  Loving your wife unconditionally, it is the greatest gift and lesson you could ever give your children. 

Marriage is a covenant, in Hebrew that covenant is called a berit.  It means fused together like superglue.  When you get married, you and your wife become one—together forever.  You are the same in that you have 3 basic, God-given needs:  love, acceptance, and worth.  But keep this in mind:  even though you together, you are still different and have different needs.  A man’s #1 need is respect.  A woman’s #1 need is security.  Men tend to see things in black and white.  Women see everything in the middle.  Those are just a couple of differences that are important to recognize.

One more thing:  You don’t need to solve everything.  Sometimes, just be a good listener.  But if you do need to say something—as Ephesians 4:15 says—speak the truth in love.

4.    Never go to bed mad – Ephesians 4:26, “Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.”  Women (and men) can be difficult when they’re upset.  They can say things they don’t really mean.  Words are weapons, especially for someone who feels helpless.    There will be many times you’ll have to take the high road and overlook the emotions that are going on and not play into them. Being the one that stays calm and reassures that everything is ok can go a long way in keeping the peace.

5.    Put away the past – Make sure your baggage stays as empty as possible.  Learn to forgive.  You know they say “harboring forgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person t die.”  Address any issues you may have and heal them before you start out together.  You have heard it said, “Time heals all wounds…”  Not so.  Time only heals clean wounds.

6.    Divorce is not an option – Pledge that to each other from the beginning.  It’s important.  God’s desire is for husband and wife to stay married for life.  And accept for extreme circumstances—such as adultery and abuse—a couple should do everything possible to keep the marriage together.  There will be times that are tough, but the grass is never greener and someday you’ll look back and see that it was the storms you conquered in uor marriage that made it stronger. 

7.    Live within your means – This is big!  Money problems are the biggest reason for divorce.  If you can’t pay for it, don’t buy it.

8.    Guard your heart – Satan will always be after you and your marriage.  He will work hard to tear you apart.  One fo the ways he does it is by getting you to compare yourself to others.  Your marriage will be unique to you.  Don’t compare yourself or your marriage to anyone else.  Guys, guarding your heart also means don’t look at other women or pornography.

9.    Compliment and show each other love – There are 5 main love languages.  They are:  words of affirmation, spending time together, acts of service, physical touch, and gifts.  Know what yours are and those of the people you care about (including your kids).  That way you’ll know how to speak love to them.  If you concentrate on giving gifts but your spouse’s language is acts of service, you will miscommunicate and they might not hear you telling them how much you love them.  Make sure you know and are speaking their love language.

10. Have fun – Your spouse should also be your best friend.  Spend time together going to concerts, hiking and traveling, the movies, bowling, cooking together, whatever… 

Ask Pastor Chris 1 - Questions About Sin

Introduction
            Today, I begin a new series of blogs based on questions people have asked about religion, the Bible, etc.  Several people asked questions related to sin. So today I will address the topic of sin.
            In Genesis we read how a man named Joseph became the most powerful man in ancient Egypt besides Pharaoh.  But then that Pharaoh died, Joseph died, and 400 years passed.  There was a drastic change of attitudes of Egyptians toward the Israelites (the descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob). The Egyptians loathed the Israelites who had grown numerous in the land. The Egyptians tried to wipe them out with slavery, hard labor, and genocide. 
            God raised up a prophet named Moses to deliver the people. Through a series of plagues, God forced the mighty Pharaoh to let the Israelites leave Egypt. And by many miracles—such as parting the Red Sea so the Israelites could walk across on dry ground—God delivered the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt.  Furthermore, God gave Moses divine laws to order the life of His people and keep them pure and holy.  Yet the sin of Adam and Eve still corrupted the hearts of these people; and as God was giving Moses the Ten Commandments up on a holy mountain, sin led the Israelites into trouble again.

Exodus 32:1-8

¹When the people saw how long it was taking Moses to come back down the mountain, they gathered around Aaron. “Come on,” they said, “make us some gods who can lead us. We don’t know what happened to this fellow Moses, who brought us here from the land of Egypt.”

² So Aaron said, “Take the gold rings from the ears of your wives and sons and daughters, and bring them to me.”

³ All the people took the gold rings from their ears and brought them to Aaron. ⁴ Then Aaron took the gold, melted it down, and molded it into the shape of a calf. When the people saw it, they exclaimed, “O Israel, these are the gods who brought you out of the land of Egypt!”

⁵ Aaron saw how excited the people were, so he built an altar in front of the calf. Then he announced, “Tomorrow will be a festival to the Lord!”

⁶ The people got up early the next morning to sacrifice burnt offerings and peace offerings. After this, they celebrated with feasting and drinking, and they indulged in pagan revelry.

⁷ The Lord told Moses, “Quick! Go down the mountain! Your people whom you brought from the land of Egypt have corrupted themselves. ⁸ How quickly they have turned away from the way I commanded them to live! They have melted down gold and made a calf, and they have bowed down and sacrificed to it. They are saying, ‘These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you out of the land of Egypt.’”

Brief Exposition of Scripture
            It is almost unbelievable that the Israelites would turn their backs on God so quickly after he delivered them from slavery in Egypt.  It was God who brought ten plagues against Pharaoh, forcing him to let the Israelites go.  It was God who parted the Red Sea—a miracle so awesome no one could forget it.  It was God who provided for these former slaves as they journeyed through the dessert. 

            Sin is a terrible disease that darkens human hearts and minds. It caused the Israelites to turn their back on God, while He was still working to save them.  We still struggle with sin today.

What is Sin?

            Sin was originally an archery term. It meant missing the mark. But what is the the target for which we shoot?  God made us in His image. God intends us to be a reflection of His Holy Love. That Holy Love was lived out in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve enjoyed a perfect relationship with God and each other.
            Jesus also explained the nature of Holy Love in the New Testament when he named the Greatest Commandment, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength...  And love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-39)
            When we think of sin, we usually think of all the bad things people do—lying, cheating, stealing, murder, etc. These are all sins, but they are sins (with a lower case "s") because they are only symptoms.

            Here's an illustration: When you are coughing, sneezing, and have a runny nose, you might say you have a cold. But the coughing and sneezing, and runny nose are just the symptoms. The common cold is actually cause by a virus—the rhinovirus. The virus is the core problem. The symptoms—the coughing, sneezing, and runny nose—are just the results.
            The core problem in the human heart is Sin (that’s Sin with a capital "S"). We don’t keep God at the center of our life. We don’t put Him first. We try to find in other things what only God can give.  That is the real Sin (with a capital "S").
            It goes all the way back to Adam and Eve. Remember, they chose to disobey God and eat the forbidden fruit. Instead of trusting God who said not to eat the forbidden fruit, Adam and Eve listened to the serpent who lied and told them the fruit would make them like God.
            The core Sin is we don’t love God above all else, we don’t trust God above all else, we don’t obey God above all else.  When this core Sin inhabits our hearts, it expresses itself through a multitude of little "s" sins—lying, cheating, stealing, murder, idolatry, lust… We forget about God who made us and saved us and we mistreat everyone. Ultimately, we destroy ourselves. As Romans 6:23 says, “For the wages of sin is death…” 

Are All Sins Equal?
            One of the question submitted was "Are all sins equal?"  As I have said, the core Sin (with a capital "S") is not keeping God above all else. So there is only one Sin. But what people mean, I think, when they ask this question is “Are all the little "s" sins equal?” And the answer depends from whose perspective you are looking.  Are you viewing the problem from people's perspective or God's perspective.

            If you look at the problem from people's perspective, it is plain to see societies loathe some sins more than others.  Murder is almost universally detested—regardless in which part of the world you live (though some cultures even view murder in varying degrees).  Other sins are detestable in one region while hardly even noticed in another society.  I recently read about a missionary who discovered this as he was serving as a professor overseas.  He gave his foreign students a multiple choice test.  Each question had 4 choices, one of them being correct.  Multiple choice tests are usually considered easier in America because even if you don't know the answer, you can guess and have at least a 25% chance of getting the right answer.  So the missionary professor was surprised to see students turning in test without even taking a guess on many of the questions.  He asked one of the foreign students about it. 
            "Did you realize you didn't answer all of the questions?  You still have time left.  Why don't you try to answer them?"
            "No, because I don't know the answers to those questions," replied the student.
            "But why don't you at least take a guess at them?"  Inquired the professor.
            "Oh no!" exclaimed the student.  "I couldn't do that.  If I accidentally chose the correct answer, I would be lying because I do not know the answer."
            The professor realized, the students of that foreign land valued honesty more than students in America, even more than the professor.  They saw sin in a different way.  Who is to say they are not right?
            How society feels about a particular sin can change quite a bit over time.  John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, considered playing cards a terrible sin because it was a distraction that wasted time that could be used for spiritual growth and to serve God and one’s fellow man.  Now-a-days, playing cards is often done in the church and we wouldn't think a thing about it. Our views have changed.
            Currently, the big debate in America centers on issues of sexual sin—especially homosexuality. To some, it would seem engaging in homosexual acts is the worst possible sin anyone can commit. Yet, society has become so much more accepting of homosexuality and sexual sin in general.  So it is easy to see that people, societies, and cultures do not see all sins as equal and perceptions of sin can change a lot over time. But what about God?

           From God's perspective, all sins are equal. As the first part of Romans 6:23 says, “The wages of sin is death…”  Dead is dead; there's no such thing as a little bit dead. It doesn’t matter if the sin was a little white lie, a little gossip, homosexuality, or murder. All sins results in death and are equally evil in God’s sight.
            One of my childhood youth pastors explained it to me this way.  Suppose you have a crystal clear pane of glass.  It is perfectly clear except for one small smudge in the middle.  Even though 99% of the glass is clear, if you take a hammer and strike the small smudge, the whole pane of glass will break (not just the smudge).  The same is true of your life.  Even if you are 99% perfect, that 1% of you that is sin will shatter the other 99%.
            Romans 3:23 & 6:23a tells us the bad news.  Romans 3:23 says, "All have sinned and fall short of God's glorious standard."  And the first part of Romans 6:23 says, "The wages of sin is death..."  We all sin and are subject to death.  The Good News is that God does not give us what we deserve. Because of Jesus, we can be forgiven our sins, no matter how big or small they are.  As the second part of Romans 6:23 says, "the free gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
            When we repent and trust in Jesus, every sin we've ever committed is forgiven.  Every sin we will ever commit in the future is also forgiven by God.  Isn't that wonderful news?  It is very wonderful news indeed! 

Should We Keep Sinning?
            If God is just going to forgive us, why not just keep on sinning?  No! Because you have to repent in order to receive God’s forgiveness.  Repentance is choosing to turn away from your sin and turn to God—turning away from all those little sins like lying, cheating, stealing, etc.  Ultimately, repentance means you choose to put God above everything else.  It means loving God above all else, obeying God above all else, serving God above all else, and seeking God above all else.  If you decide to just keep on sinning, you are not really repenting.
            Now, we are still imperfect human beings. We may still make mistakes. We have a lot of healing to do before we actually reclaim the perfect image of God. And God is gracious. He understands and is patient. He forgives again and again and again. But don’t abuse His gracious gift by willfully and knowingly sinning just because you know He will forgive you. God knows your heart.

Dwelling on the Past
            One interesting question that came in was:  "If God forgave me, shouldn’t people forgive me too and not dwell on the past?"  The question came to me on Facebook last week, but I have heard the question in various forms from different people through 17 years on church ministry.

            When we sin, we often feel terrible.  We struggle with shame and guilt and often the awful consequences of our sin.  It can be very difficult for us personally as we struggle to repent, accept God’s forgiveness, and even forgive ourselves.  It is a painful journey; one we would like to just put behind us.  However, the consequences of our sins  often linger; often, those consequences effect other people.  For example:  If you commit adultery and it leads to divorce, the consequences will last a lifetime.  Even though God forgives you, you may always have to deal with the scars of a broken marriage.  Your spouse may never forgive you.  If there were children involved, it may take years of hard work to repair the relationships; and they may always remember what you did.  Sin has a terrible and lasting effect.
            In the Bible, when King David committed adultery with Bathsheba, God forgave him.  However, David suffered the consequences of his sin though out his life.  In the short term, just after the sin, David’s infant son got sick and died.  In the long term, David’s family was full of conflict.  One of his own sons eventually lead a rebellion to steal the Kingdom from David.  David retained his Kingdom, but only after his son was defeated and put to death.  As an old man, David still struggled with guilt from the brokenness he caused by his sin.
           When we sin, we are glad that God forgives us and we may feel as though everyone ought to forgive us and move on too.  However, don’t presume to think people owe you forgiveness.  Maybe they should forgive you, because it would be better for them if they did.  However, don’t resent someone because they haven’t forgiven you yet.  You don’t have that right.  Remember, you caused this problem; now you are dealing with the consequences.
            Instead of telling people to forgive you and move on, be patient with them.  Be gracious and show real love instead of resentment.  Give them time to heal and give God time to work on their heart.  Pray for them; pray that God would heal them—for their sake and not just so you can be free of the shame and guilt.  In the mean time, bear the cross you have to bear until God takes it away. 

What is God Saying to You Today?

            As we conclude, I invite to consider what God might be saying to you today.  Perhaps He is calling you to repent of your sin and turn to Him.  Perhaps He wants you to make a new commitment to put Him above everything else.  Maybe you need to ask God to help you see sin more like He does and less like the fickle people around you. All sins are equally evil. Ask God to help you hate the sin within you.  Maybe you need to pray for those who need to forgive; perhaps there is even someone who needs to forgive you. Ask God for patience while you wait.

Do you have a question you want me to address? Post it in the comments below or send me an email at ReverendChrisMullis@Hotmail.com

Super Bowl Sadness

The Truth As Far As I Can Tell…

Well, it was a heart breaking loss for the Falcons in the Super Bowl on Sunday.  There are  a lot of sad Atlanta fans as I write these words.  I admit I felt the heartbreak too as I watched the Patriots come back in the fourth quarter to win a game everyone thought the Falcons had in the bag.  But Monday morning, I felt my spirits “rise up” within me again as the Lord reminded me what’s really important.  It isn’t a game or a football team or a Super Bowl ring.  It’s the Kingdom of God.  Matthew 6:33 – “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”

            It happens every year on the first Sunday in February.  The NFL spends a tremendous amount of money (and makes even more) by hyping up the Super Bowl until it seems it is the most important thing in the world.  They never say, “Well, it’s just a game.”  To a lot of the players it is more than a game.  A lot of money and fame is at stake.  It can even open up a lifetime of doors for the coaches and athletes who win a Super Bowl ring (just as Fred Stokes said at our Super Bowl Sunday Service). 

However, we fans sometimes need to remember, it is just a game for us.  The Falcons’ loss was an emotionally charged event for many, many people in our area.  But think about it:  it doesn’t have any bearing whatsoever on 99.99% of your life.  An emotional loss like this can be a good time to reflect on what really is important in your life.  Doing so can help you enjoy watching sports more—whether you win or lose—and keep a proper perspective.

Though the Falcons lost, Pleasant Grove had an incredible “win” in church this Sunday.  There were at least 177 people in worship.  We had 20 people visit our church.  The seeds of God’s Word were planted as many were moved by Fred Stokes’ powerful testimony. He shared how God has been in control of his life and is in control of ours too.  He shared how his Super Bowl victory in 1992 was just a tool God used to open doors for more important work in Fred’s life—speaking in schools and churches, working with kids and young men.  God has plans for all of us—plans that are so much more important than a Super Bowl.  Are you focused on the plans God has for you?  Are you ready to do the truly important work of His Kingdom?

I was deeply moved by one of Fred’s stories in particular.  He shared how his great aunt took him to church every Sunday when Fred was a child.  Sometimes, the only people at church were Fred and his great aunt, but they had the service anyway.  She would give Fred some money before the service and ask him to put it in the offering plate.  At the time, it must have seemed an insignificant and futile affair.  What could come of such a small church service with just and old lady and a small child in attendance?  What difference do a few coins placed in an offering plate make?  How could that ever compare to the spectacle of a Super Bowl?  Yet years later, Fred revealed how significant those services were—how it shaped who he became, carried him through a depression and attempted suicide, kept him grounded through his failures and his victories, and pointed him towards something truly important and eternal:  faith in Jesus Christ.

Perhaps today, in the aftermath of the Super Bowl, we can all remember what’s really important so that we can push ahead with the truly significant work God has for us.  Of course, I’m no expert and I certainly don’t claim to know everything, but that’s the Truth as far as I can tell…

Remember, God loves you and so do I!

 

Genesis, Part 3 - Joseph

Introduction
            Last week we talked about Father Abraham.  Abraham had Isaac, Isaac had Jacob, Jacob had twelve sons—including his favorite Joseph. All these men are known as the Patriarchs, because they are the fathers of our faith.  One thing Genesis shows us is how God’s plans play out over many generations. Genesis tells the fascinating stories of individuals, but the grand story sweeps through the generations right down to us today.
            God said in Isaiah 55:9 – “For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”  Our thinking is so small, but God has a grand plan. You are part of it, but never forget you are not the whole of it.  Perhaps the Patriarchs could imagine how their lives might affect their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren; but Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob could not even begin to imagine that 4,000 years later, you and I would be sitting in a sanctuary—with central heat and air conditioning, electric chandeliers, and visual illustrations of their story on our televisions.
            You are part of God’s story—your life, your family, your struggles, and your hopes and dreams. But always remember, your story has more significance than just what you can see and imagine. It will reverberate through the generations to come, possibly for thousands of years. You can only see a small part of what God is doing—and that only if you are very perceptive. So, you must trust God with it all—especially that part you cannot see or understand.
            Today we will pick up the story of Jacob’s son Joseph. Joseph was Jacob’s favorite son.  He was born into a dysfunctional family.  His father had two wives, concubines, and twelve sons.  If that were not already a recipe for disaster, add to it Jacob's favoritism for one wives over the others and on son over the others.  Furthermore, Joseph was a punk little daddy's boy who, in arrogance, liked to taunt his brothers with his status as the "golden boy."
             Joseph had a big-headed dream.  In the dream (which he promptly told his family with selfish-pride), he said, “The sun, moon, and eleven stars bowed low before me.”  The sun and moon represented Joseph’s father and mother; the 11 stars his 11 brothers.  Even Joseph’s father was offended by Joseph’s arrogance in telling the dream.  "Will even your mother and I bow down before you?"  When I was a kid, my mom used to refer to this episode any time I got to conceded or sassy.  She would say, "So, you think the sun moon and stars bow down to you."
            Joseph dream came from God and would eventually come true, but in his youthful arrogance, Joseph didn’t realize the trials that would lead up to the fulfillment of that dream. He would endure decades of hardship and humiliation before anyone would bow down before him. Joseph would need to learn humility, leadership, integrity, and endure the cost of remaining true to God before he was ready to be used as God’s instrument for God’s glory, not his own.
            One day, Joseph's brothers saw him coming and the seized him, beat him, and threw him in a pit.  Rather than kill him, they decided to sell him into slavery and lie to his father and say a wild beast killed him.  So, Joseph was taken to Egypt where he became a slave in Potiphar's house.  But God was with Joseph and he prospered in Potiphar's house so that Potiphar put him in charge of everything.  But Potiphar's wife often sexually harassed Joseph.  And when he wouldn't play along, she accused him of trying to rape her--even though he was completely innocent.  Potiphar had Joseph thrown into prison so he became even lower than a slave.  Yet God was still with Joseph.
            All together, Joseph spent 22 years as a slave or in prison in Egypt before one day Pharaoh had a troubling dream than no one could interpret.  Word came to Joseph about the dream and he was able to interpret the dream for Pharaoh, saying Egypt would experience 7 years of bounty followed by 7 years of famine.  This pleased Pharaoh to the point he made Joseph his second in command and put him in charge of the famine relief efforts.  They stored away surplus food  during the 7 good years and lived off the stores during the 7 years of famine.  Additionally, they were able to sell food to some of the peoples and tribes surrounding Egypt.
            The famine even drove Joseph’s brothers to Egypt to buy food and his dream was finally fulfilled.  Joseph’s brothers bowed low before him, though they don’t recognize him.  Joseph finally reveals his identity in Genesis chapter 45. 

Slides - Genesis 45:3-8
³ “I am Joseph!” he said to his brothers. “Is my father still alive?” But his brothers were speechless! They were stunned to realize that Joseph was standing there in front of them. ⁴ “Please, come closer,” he said to them. So they came closer. And he said again, “I am Joseph, your brother, whom you sold into slavery in Egypt.⁵ But don’t be upset, and don’t be angry with yourselves for selling me to this place. It was God who sent me here ahead of you to preserve your lives. ⁶ This famine that has ravaged the land for two years will last five more years, and there will be neither plowing nor harvesting. ⁷ God has sent me ahead of you to keep you and your families alive and to preserve many survivors. ⁸ So it was God who sent me here, not you! And he is the one who made me an adviser to Pharaoh—the manager of his entire palace and the governor of all Egypt.

It was God

            Joseph says something incredible to his brothers. He declares them innocent saying, “Don’t be upset, and don’t be angry with yourselves for selling me to this place. It was God who sent me here, not you!” (45:5, 8)  Consider the faith it takes to make such a statement.  Such faith sees that God is in charge of everything.  This great faith believes that God can even take the evil plots of other people and turning them into good.  Furthermore, it is a great faith that recognizes God has the right to subject us to suffering for the sake of His plans.
           You are His creation. He has all rights to you. Why do we ever think God must always treat us well?  You are an instrument in His mighty hand. Your purpose is to serve Him. Why should the God of the universe need to justify Himself to you if He chooses to use you as the hammer that pounds in a nail to His master plan?  Or suppose He decided you should be the nail that is hammered?  How can you rightfully object?
            Consider Jesus. Jesus was nailed to a cross and died a cruel, agonizing, and humiliating death for the salvation of the world.  In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus prayed—“Father, if there is any other way to accomplish Your plan, please remove this cup of suffering from me. But not my will but Yours be done.”  Ultimately, Jesus was willing to die, because he trusted God and knew his crucifixion would wash the sins of the world clean forever and and reconcile us to God. 
            Jesus is the only one who didn't deserve to be crucified, yet he was willing for the sake of our salvation.  We do not deserve good, but we usually get it anyway.  Why should we complain if we receive trouble instead of a life of ease?
            In faith, Joseph saw God made a way to preserve his whole family. Furthermore, all of Egypt was spared from the ravages of the famine.  And how many lives of people from neighboring tribes were spared?  Were all these lives--and ultimately God's plan which came through Jacob's decedents--worth the suffering Joseph endured?  You decide.  But also consider how sending Joseph to Egypt as a slave refined his character and ultimately save Jacob and his 12 sons and all their wives and children and servants and livestock.

Do You Have Faith in God?

            Do you have the faith to trust God to accomplish His master plan for you—even if it is hard?  Do you trust God to use suffering to humble you and refine your character?  Joseph was a good boy with great potential. But he was also full of pride and arrogance. He could also be cruel—flaunting his status as “the favorite” in his brothers’ faces on purpose even though he must have known they were already wounded by their father's favoritism.  So God used those 22 years of slavery and prison in Egypt to humble and refine Joseph’s character.  Does your suffering make you bitter and resentful or does your faith enable you to see God is making you a better person?
            Do you have the faith to forgive those who have wronged you?  Do you trust God enough to relinquish your claim to vengeance?  Do you trust God to punish those who have done wrong (even to you or the people you love) according to His great wisdom and mercy? Do you trust Him to be fair—to forgive those who need mercy and to punish those who need justice? (Isn’t it ironic that we want mercy for ourselves, but punishment for others?)
            Do you have the faith to reconcile with those whom you have forgiven?  Forgiveness is one thing. It is wiping away the debt someone owes you.  Reconciliation is another thing. It is rebuilding a new relationship with someone after the debt is forgiven.  Joseph did more than forgive his brothers. He reconciled with them. He loved them again—caring for them, protecting them.  Jesus does more than just forgive us. He reconciles with us. Rev. 3:20—“ “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.”  Do you have the faith to reconcile with those who have hurt you?  (Not everyone can be reconciled; and some it may not even be possible or healthy to reconcile with.  But if it is, are you willing?)

Conclusion

            I suppose not many of us think we would do such a despicable thing as sell our brother or sister into slavery.  (Although there might be some…)  But listen to the Word of God in Psalm 14:2-3 – “The Lord looks down from heaven on the entire human race; he looks to see if anyone is truly wise, if anyone seeks God.  But no, all have turned away; all have become corrupt.  No one does good, not a single one!”
            Brothers and sisters, we have all sinned.  We have all turned our backs on our brother Jesus.  We have all betrayed him, by what we have done or left undone.  Sometimes, by our very attitudes, we have nailed him to the cross.  We crucify him whenever we prefer the comforts of this world over the calling of God.  We crucify him whenever we are ashamed of what someone might think of us if they find out we are one of those “church people.”  We crucify him whenever we give in to the temptations of the flesh—whether it is sexual sin, or gossip, or cheating, or lying, or eating too much, or indulging our ego.  In those occasions and more, we are little better than Joseph’s brothers (according to God’s holy standards).  So do not think yourself innocent or better than any other sinner in this world.

            There may be a few here who feel as though they have done worse.  Perhaps you feel about as low and vulnerable as Joseph’s brothers as they bowed before him.  Perhaps you feel as though God is standing over you poised to execute His terrible judgment at any moment.
            That is why the message of Christ is called the Good News. It is Good News to everyone who realizes their sin and repents because God does not give us what we deserve.  Instead of punishment, He gives us pardon.  Instead of banishment, He gives us a new relationship.  Instead of death, He gives us eternal life.  Instead of sorrow, He gives us joy.  And in faith, even the suffering we face is a blessing because we know God is working out His master plan for us and for the whole world.
            So I woul like to invite you to listen to God and respond to Him.  Perhaps you can respond by trusting God through Jesus Christ instead of depending so much on yourself, others, or the things of this world.  Perhaps you can respond by forgiving someone or forgiving yourself.  Or maybe, God is calling you to reconcile with someone.  Whoever has ears to hear, listen to the Word of the Lord.