Living Christian in a Gay World, part 4 - Coming Out of the Closet

Part 4 – Coming Out of the Closet
Galatians 6:1-3

Introduction

            Four Sundays is not nearly enough time to say all that could be said on the subject of homosexuality.  If you would like more, I recommend the book by Sam Alberry, Is God anti-gay? Allberry is an Anglican pastor who struggles with same-sex attraction and has chosen to remain single and celibate in obedience to the Gospel.  Allberry’s book is written from a unique perspective.  The book is easy to read and offers an easy to understand examination of homosexuality from a Christian perspective.  I highly recommend it and have a few free copies if you are interested.

The goal of this blog is to encourage everyone to break the silence about their personal struggles.  Whether it is homosexuality or divorce or substance abuse or anything else, we are called to love, pray for, and support one another in our struggles instead of hiding them and pretending we are perfect. 

Galatians 6:1-3

¹Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. ² Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. ³ If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. 

Coming Out of the Closet

Most people who struggle with homosexuality keep their struggle secret.  They don’t tell anyone for fear of how they will react.  In this secretive stage, they are said to be “in the closet.”  In other words, they are keeping their struggle secret as if hiding in a closet.  Once a gay person finally decides to reveal their homosexual feelings to others, they are said have “come out of the closet.” 

Coming out of the closet can be very scary.  One doesn’t know how their family and friends will react to the revelation about their sexuality.  Will they be angry or disappointed?  Will they reject?  Will they be understanding, kind, or supportive?  It takes great courage for someone struggling with something as sensitive as homosexuality to make their struggle known to others.

You may not know this, but there is a strong parallel between homosexuals who “come out of the closet” and the journey of the Christian faith.  For the Christian is also called to “come out of the closet” (i.e. reveal to others the secrets about that with which they struggle).  1 John 1:9 says “confess our sins to [Jesus]” and James 5:16 says “confess your sins to each other”.  Galatians 6:2 says we should “share one another’s burdens,” meaning we should share our most difficult struggles with each other.  Homosexual temptations might be one of those struggles, but it is not the only one or even the toughest one.  We are all burdened with sin and temptation and we usually want to keep our secret struggles locked away in the closet.  Christ calls us to “come out of the closet” in order to let the light of His love heal and help us.  

We’re Not Perfect

Somewhere along the way, many people got it into their heads that Christians are always supposed to live happy, perfect little lives and never struggle.  Christians often try very hard to keep up this façade.  We smile, hide our struggles, and pretend to be the perfect people we’re expected to be.  This is not the reality the Bible teaches.  And in all honesty, it hinders our witness.  People need to know Christians are real people with real struggles.  We are not perfect, but we serve a perfect Savior who promised to help us through our struggles.  Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

We should expect that Christians will struggle with many kinds of temptation, sin, illnesses, tragedies, and other problems.  We should expect that some Christians will struggle with homosexuality.  Struggling does not mean one is not a Christian or is somehow weak or lacking in faith.  It simply means you are human. 

When we “come out of the closet” about our struggles—whatever they may be—we open ourselves up to healing and other Christians are able to help us.  Furthermore, our lives become a powerful witness—not that we are perfect people (we never are), but—that Christ took our brokenness and didn’t give up on us.  People cannot see the power of Christ overcoming your brokenness if you always wear a mask pretending to be just fine. 

 

 

Advice for Coming Out

In his book Is God anti-gay, Sam Allberry offers some helpful advice to those struggling with same-sex attraction.  This is good advice for dealing with any kind of problem, not just homosexuality.  I offer the following suggestions for everyone, regardless of the secret problem with which you struggle. 

Pray about your struggles.

            You can talk to Jesus about any struggle you face—whether it is homosexuality or anything else.  There is nothing off limits with Him.  Jesus said in John 3:17, “God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.”  You can talk to Jesus about anything and know that He will love you unconditionally.  Furthermore, there is no one who can keep a confidence better than Jesus!

            When you pray, you don’t have to use fancy language.  Just be honest and authentic.  Talk to Jesus about your confusions.  Share with Him your distress.  Ask him to help you with your temptations.  Seek forgiveness for times you feel you failed.  Jesus “is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” (1 John 1:9).  Jesus “understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.” (Hebrews 4:15).  Talk to Jesus in prayer and tap into the unlimited power of God to deal with your struggles.

Think about your struggles in the right way.

            Sometimes we struggle with something so hard it starts to look like an insurmountable problem.  Some people here might be thinking, “You know, I’ve struggled with this for so long and failed so many time, God has probably given up on me.  I’m just too far gone.” Or you might think, “My temptation, my sin is just too big, too dark, too unspeakable, to despicable, God would never want to have anything to do with me.” 

Sin has a way of twisting our perspective that way, but don’t you believe the Devil’s lies.  God loves you no matter what and He will never give up on you.  You are never too far gone, out of reach, too dirty, too lost, or too wicked to be saved by God through Jesus.  God would save the Devil himself if only he would turn from his sins and turn to God through Jesus Christ.  Surely, you are not that far gone.

Regardless of whether you struggle with homosexuality or something else, something big or something small, keep it in perspective.  Your struggles don’t disqualify you and they define you.  You are not a homosexual.  You are not a pervert or a thief or a drunk or a liar.  You are a child of God and Jesus would go to the ends of the earth to seek and save you.  In fact, he went all the way to the cross for you.  So when your problem seems too big, you just remember how much bigger God is and you let Him define you instead. 

Seek support from others.

            Galatians 6:2 says, “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”  A burden is something you were not meant to carry all by yourself.  Everyone has to carry their own load, but a burden is heavier than one person can safely carry by themselves.  So we should share our burdens. 

            In our context today, this means we should share our struggles with each other.  Now, you might not want to run around telling your deepest, darkest secrets to every person you meet—not even within the church.  But you should find a trusted, Christian friend—someone who will listen and not judge you and not go around talking behind your back.  If you don’t have someone like that, you can come talk to me.  That’s my job as a pastor.

            Galatians 6:2 also says that when we share each other’s burdens, we “obey the law of Christ.”  So it would seem that sharing our struggles with each other—both opening up to others and helping others with their struggles—is the law of Christ (which is love).

            Sharing our struggles with others and seeking support can yield tremendous results.  Sometimes, just talking about our problems brings marvelous relief.  It relieves built up pressure and anxiety and helps put our troubles in proper perspective.

            I have seen amazing results and personal growth when people “came out of the closet” about their secret battles.  I am bound to keep names and specific details confidential, but I can tell you that right here in this church, I have seen racism overcome and family bonds healed.  I have seen drug and alcohol addictions conquered.  I have witnessed broken marriages made whole.  I have watched out of control tempers brought under control.  I have seen friendships restored, shame and guilt released, and lives put back on track.  And in each case, it was possible because people courageously opened up about their struggles and sought the support of others. 

Conclusion

It takes courage and faith to “come out of the closet” about our problems with each other in the church because it seems like everyone else is perfectly happy.  What we don’t realize is that everyone struggles with something and often the smiles we see are only the masks people wear.  We all need to remove our masks and live more authentically.  It is the only way we can grow in Christ.  And who knows, when you are honest and come out of the closet, it might not only help you.  It might just help someone else who is secretly struggling too.  So what are you waiting for?

 

 

Living Christian in a Gay World, part 2 - What the Bible Says

Part 2 – What the Bible Says
2 Timothy 3:15-17

Introduction

            Views about homosexuality have shifted tremendously in our society to the point that the Supreme Court has even ruled that all 50 states must recognize same sex marriages and cannot prevent homosexual couples from getting marriage licenses.  This message is the second in a series that seeks to understand how to live as Christians in a world that has changed the way it sees homosexuality. 

            Last week, I implored you to make love your highest aim as we consider this issue.  Love is the key and our time today will be productive only if you have an attitude of genuine love—regardless of what you believe about homosexuality.  Please listen today with an open mind and a humble heart. 

            Regardless of your opinions on the issue of homosexuality, it is vital that everyone understand that Christian teaching about homosexuality is not arbitrary.  How Christians live and what we teach is based upon the Bible.  Let’s begin this message with a passage that reveals the role of Scripture in our lives. 

2 Timothy 3:15-17

¹⁵ You have been taught the holy Scriptures from childhood, and they have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus. ¹⁶ All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. ¹⁷ God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work. 

The Bible is the Foundation for What We Believe

            The Bible is an irreplaceable treasure that tells us everything we need to know to receive salvation through Jesus Christ.  The Scriptures of the Old and New Testament are the inspired Word of God that speak to us, challenge us, inspire us, and guide us.  As verse 16 said, “…Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives…”

God speaks to us in a number of ways—through the traditions of the church, through our reason and understanding, and through our personal and communal experiences.  All of these are important and help guide us.  However, we always rely on the Bible as the firm, unchanging foundation of our faith because sometimes our traditions are flawed, our reason is limited, and our experience is too subjective to be reliable.  Scripture is the timeless and authoritative foundation that teaches us how to live Christian in a gay world.  

 

Jesus and Scripture

            Jesus is a perfect example of the authoritative role of Scripture to guide us.  Jesus founded his teaching and worldview on the Scriptures of the Old Testament (at the time, the New Testament had yet to be written).  Jesus directly referenced Scripture no less than 53 times in the four Gospels[i] saying such things as:

·       Matthew 9:13 – Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture…

·       Matthew 12:3 – Haven’t you read the Scriptures…

·       Matthew 21:13 – The Scriptures declare…

·       Mark 12:24 – Your mistake is you don’t know the Scriptures…

·       Luke 20:17 – Then what does this Scripture mean?

·       Luke 24:7 – Then Jesus took them through the writings of Moses and all the prophets, explaining from all the Scriptures the things concerning himself.

·       John 10:35 – And you know that the Scriptures cannot be altered… 

Clearly, Jesus had a high view of Scripture and offered it to His followers as an authority to know and follow.  If the Son of God understood the authority of Scripture to guide the faithful, shouldn’t we also rely upon the timeless, unchanging Word of God to guide the way we think and live?  The teaching of the Christian Church for 2,000 years has been an emphatic yes.  And the view of the Methodist movement from the beginning has been:  [the Bible] “…is to be received through the Holy Spirit as the true rule and guide for faith and practice.”[ii]

If we want to understand the will of God concerning homosexuality (or anything else), we must understand what the Bible says about it. 

What the Bible Says About Homosexuality

Therefore, I want to share what the Bible says about homosexuality.  There are five primary passages in the Bible that deal directly with homosexuality.  The fact that there are only five reveals two important clues about homosexuality:

1.     The status of homosexuality was not debated as often in societies during biblical times as it has been in our times.  If it were a topic people debated regularly, there would be more references to homosexuality in the Bible—whether it be stories about homosexual persons, rulings about it or prophecies from God on the issue, commandments concerning homosexuality, etc.  This doesn’t necessarily mean homosexuality was not as present in the past as it is now, but it may mean that the acceptability homosexuality was not in question as much in biblical times as it has been over the past few decades in the western world.  It would seem the matter was general settled for almost everyone in biblical times.

2.     Secondly, the small number of references to homosexuality in the Bible also reveals that although homosexuality has become a very big issue for our society over the past 50 years, it was not considered nearly as important a topic in biblical times.  The Bible devotes far more time to teaching about love, helping the needy, seeking God, etc. than it does to homosexuality.  Furthermore, Scripture spends much more time speaking against sinful behaviors like dishonesty, lack of compassion, and idolatry than it does speaking against homosexuality.  This would lead me to believe these were (and are) more important issues than homosexuality.  The way I see it, homosexuality has become disproportionally important for us in the 21^st century.  It was not as important historically.  Furthermore, I don’t think it is as big of a deal to God as people today have made it out to be. 

Even so, people want and need to know what the Bible says about homosexuality.  So, let me briefly outline the five passages that deal directly with homosexuality. 

Genesis 19 – Sodom and Gomorrah

            The first direct reference to homosexuality is found in a fascinating and also disturbing story in Genesis chapter 19.  The story says God sent two angels to investigate two cities, Sodom and Gomorrah, to determine if they were so wicked they must be destroyed.  While the angels are staying in Sodom with a man named Lot, Genesis 19:4-5 says, “…all the men of Sodom, young and old, came from all over the city and surrounded the house. They shouted to Lot, “Where are the men who came to spend the night with you? Bring them out to us so we can have sex with them!”  God determines the cities are so wicked He must destroy them.  Sodom and Gomorrah were not destroyed just because the men practiced homosexuality; however, their attempt to rape the angels visiting Lot (who they thought were men) revealed the depths of Sodom and Gomorrah’s depravity.  Every last person in the cities was wicked to the core and deserved only judgment and destruction.  So, although the passage is about general wickedness and judgment (and not specifically about homosexuality), the story does reveal a very negative view of homosexuality.   

Leviticus 18 and 20

            The next references we find concerning homosexuality are in the 18^th and 20^th chapters of Leviticus.  Leviticus is a book of law that reveals how God expected His holy people to live in Old Testament times.  Leviticus 18 lists forbidden sexual practices.  Among the sexual practices forbidden are: adultery, sex with close relatives, and sex with animals.  Leviticus 18:22 specifically deals with homosexuality.  It says, “Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin.”  Leviticus 20:13 repeats the prohibition adding in the punishment for homosexuality at that time.  It says, “If a man practices homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman, both men have committed a detestable act. They must both be put to death, for they are guilty of a capital offense.” 

            We should reject the idea of capital punishment for the practice of homosexuality.  Any form of violence, intimidation, persecution, or bullying of homosexual persons is abhorrent to God and to rightly-guided Christians.  However, these verses from Leviticus specifically show that homosexuality was considered a very serious sin in Old Testament times.  People often observe that religion in the Old Testament was much harsher than the religion Jesus revealed in the New Testament.  So, let’s look at the next three scriptural references about homosexuality that are all found in the New Testament. 

Romans 1:18-32

            The next reference is from Romans 1:18-32.  In this passage, the Apostle Paul argues how sinful the world is and how our sin blinds us to truths about God that should be obvious.  As an example, he points to homosexuality, which Paul says is obviously contrary to nature.  Since people have turned their back on God, Paul argues God has let people reap the shameful rewards of their sins.  Romans 1:26-27 says:

²⁶ That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. ²⁷ And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.

            So here in the New Testament as in the Old, we again see homosexuality regarded as sin contrary to God’s plan for humanity. 

1 Corinthians 6:9-10

            The next passage is from 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 which list the types of sinful behavior that could keep a person from inheriting the Kingdom of God.  It reads:

Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.” 

            It is important to note here that homosexuality is listed alongside some other sinful behaviors that don’t seem as big a deal to people today as homosexuality—for homosexuality is listed right alongside greed and drunkenness and cheating.  So while we might make a big deal about a gay person and how we should treat them in the church, why don’t we make as big a fuss about these other sins that are far more prevalent and just as important to God?  Is this not a double standard we should recognize and expel from our way of thinking? 

1 Timothy 1:8-10

            The last direct reference to homosexuality is 1 Timothy 1:10.  This passage also lumps homosexuality in with a list of sins the writer assumes everyone in his audience knows are sinful.

"The law is for people who are sexually immoral, or who practice homosexuality, or are slave traders, liars, promise breakers, or who do anything else that contradicts the wholesome teaching…"

            Here again, we see homosexuality (something many people today consider a serious sin) listed with other sins people don’t seem to mind as much like lying or breaking promises.  None-the-less, homosexuality is clearly considered unacceptable behavior that is contrary to God’s plan for humanity in both the Old and New Testaments of the Bible. 

Jesus

            Jesus did not say anything directly about the issue of homosexuality in Scripture.  Some people point this out as a justification for the acceptance of homosexuality among Christians.  However, that’s not really a reasonable position if one sincerely considers the life of Christ. 

Jesus was very accepting of people traditionally considered outcasts and sinners of society.  His detractors maligned him for eating with sinners, tax collectors, and prostitutes.  However, Jesus never condoned sinful behavior and always looked to forgive and lift people out of their sinful lives.  Furthermore, we have already seen how Jesus stood upon the teachings of the Old Testament—referring to Scripture over 53 times in the Gospels to support his teachings.  Since we see what the Old Testament teaches regarding homosexuality, it doesn’t make much sense to assume Jesus disagreed simply because he didn’t explicitly restate the Old Testament’s teaching on the issue.  Jesus’ audience would have already assumed homosexuality was a sin.  There is no record or reason to believe this was even a question Jesus needed to address.  His silence on the issue supports the idea that Jesus saw homosexuality as a sin as did most people of his time.

In Mark 7:21-23, Jesus said, “²¹ For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, ²² adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. ²³ All these vile things come from within; they are what defile you.”  Given Jesus grounding in the Old Testament understanding of sin and righteousness, Jesus must have understood "sexual immorality" to be defined by Leviticus 18–which includes all the things we’ve already mentioned including homosexuality.

There is a more obvious reason to believe Jesus saw homosexuality as contrary to God plan because of what he did say about human sexuality.  Jesus explicitly states God’s plan for human sexuality to be within a monogamous, heterosexual marriage in Matthew 19:4-6.  ⁴“Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” ⁵ And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ ⁶ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

So we see that Jesus taught the traditional view of heterosexual marriage handed down from the beginning in Genesis and that never changed all throughout Scripture.  The only alternative to heterosexual marriage Jesus offers comes a few verses later in Matthew 20:12 when he says, “…some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven.” In other words, you can enjoy God’s gift of sexual union within heterosexual marriage or you can remain unmarried and refrain from sexual relations.  These are the only two valid options offered in the Bible or by Jesus. 

Conclusion

            I know this post was longer than usual.  We had a lot of material to cover, but I felt it was important for everyone to actually see what Scripture says about homosexuality to show why the Church teaches that homosexuality is a sin outside of God’s will for humanity.  It’s because the Bible teaches it—and not just in one place or in one era.  The Bible is clear about homosexuality from the beginning to the end.  And as 1 Timothy 3:16 say, "All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives."

Some congregations have changed their opinion about homosexuality, just as have many in our society.  Many in the United Methodist Church wish to change our official stance (and this will be debated at our next General Conference this May).  However, such a drastic change departs from our Scriptural foundation.

The truth is, society’s opinions on various topics change as easily as our taste in clothing—sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.  (Do you remember jelly shoes?) The beauty of the Bible (and the challenge also) is that is does not change.  It is an anchor that holds us to the Truth while the changing tides of public opinions swirl around us.  Scripture connects us to the timeless principles of God.

I understand that it is very difficult to maintain a biblical view of homosexuality given the unpopularity of that opinion in our times.  It is even more difficult because we all have friends, family, or loved ones who struggle with homosexuality.  You may personally struggle with homosexuality.  It can be very tempting to just set the scriptural witness aside and say, “There’s nothing wrong with homosexuality.”  And this is what some people have done.

I would encourage everyone—whether the issue is homosexuality or something else—to allow the Word of God to change you instead of trying to change the Word of God.  It is not an easy path to follow, but it is the best path and one that Love calls us to pursue.  Therefore, I urge you to pray fervently that God would give you courage to stand up for the Truth and a love that never gives up.    Jesus said, if anyone wants to follow me he must die to himself, take up his cross and follow me…

---

[i] 17 times in Matthew, 10 times in Mark, 14 times in Luke, 12 times in John

[ii] Confession of Faith of The Evangelical United Brethren Church, Article IV – http://www.umc.org/what-we-believe/confession-of-faith

Living Christian in a Gay World, part 1 - Love is the Key

Part 1 – Love is the Key
1 Corinthians 13:4-10

Introduction

            Love wins.  It was the slogan that rang out on social media, in news clips, and on banners all over our nation when the Supreme Court of the United States released their ruling on the legality of gay marriage on Friday, June 26, 2015.  The verdict, in a 5-4 decision, ruled that States cannot keep same-sex couples from marrying and must recognize their unions.  The decision polarized people in our country more than ever before.  People advocating for gay rights were jubilant while those against the ruling were angry, afraid, saddened, and deeply concerned for our nation.  One thing the ruling points out is just how far public opinion on the issue of homosexuality has shifted over the years.
            The United Methodist Church has prayed about, studied, and debated the issue of homosexuality since at least 1968.  The best minds and hearts of our communion have spoken consistently about homosexuality in a way I believe speaks the truth with love.  Our denomination’s official stance from the 2012 Book of Discipline states:

“Although all persons are sexual beings whether or not they are married, sexual relations are affirmed only with the covenant of monogamous, heterosexual marriage…  We affirm that all persons are individuals of sacred worth, created in the image of God. All persons need the ministry of the Church in their struggles for human fulfillment, as well as the spiritual and emotional care of a fellowship that enables reconciling relationships with God, with others, and with self. The United Methodist Church does not condone the practice of homosexuality and considers this practice incompatible with Christian teaching. We affirm that God’s grace is available to all. We will seek to live together in Christian community, welcoming, forgiving, and loving one another, as Christ has loved and accepted us.  We implore families and churches not to reject or condemn lesbian and gay members and friends. We commit ourselves to be in ministry for and with all persons.”  [For the full statement and other statements in the United Methodist Book of Disciplines related to homosexuality, click here]

            That being said, there is disagreement among people within our denomination about homosexuality.  Some hold to the view presented in our discipline.  Others believe the denomination needs to change its stance and discard the idea that the practice of homosexuality is a sin.  Opinions of United Methodists in the Bible belt of the southeast tend to be more conservative—holding to the traditional view—while opinions in the northeast and western jurisdictions advocate for the ordination of self-avowed, practicing homosexuals as ministers in the UMC.  The opinions of most United Methodist in areas outside of the US—places such as Africa, Asia, and Latin America where the church is growing exponentially—conform to the traditional view that the practice of homosexuality is a sin and should not be condoned by the church.

            Our next General Conference—which meets every four years and is the only legislative body that can speak for the United Methodist Church as a whole—will meet this May and most certainly will discuss the subject of homosexuality and how our denomination should respond to the changing tide of public opinion on this issue.  I invite you—regardless of your opinion on the issue—to be in prayer for our leaders at General Conference that God would give them great wisdom to lead our denomination regarding homosexuality.

            I have been praying for several months about whether or not to preach on this subject and, if so, how.  Although this is a difficult subject and one that often stirs up strong reactions, I believe it is imperative for us to seek understanding from God.  Thus, I want to ask you to commit to be present for (or read) each of the messages in this series.  Over the next few weeks, we will consider what God would say about homosexuality and how Jesus wants us to live in a world that that has changed its attitudes about those who are gay. 

Love is the Key

The time we spend here considering how to live as Christians in a gay world will only be productive if we love one another.  Love is the key.  So let us first consider how the Bible teaches us to love as we read in 1 Corinthians 13:4-10. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-10 [Slides]

⁴ Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud ⁵ or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ⁶ It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. ⁷ Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

⁸ Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! ⁹ Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! ¹⁰ But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless. 

Now, let’s examine some of these aspects of love more closely. 

Love is patient and kind.

We may be tempted to dehumanize people with whom we disagree about hot topics like homosexuality.  “How can anyone believe that!” we think.  “They must be stupid or mean or evil!”  But love requires us to be patient with people you think just don’t get it and gentle with folks whose religion or faith seems weaker than yours.  You see, love is patient and kind, not fed up and mean. 

Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.

Don’t be jealous when other people or groups seem to win and you lose.  It was really hard for me to see gay rights activist marching in parades celebrating their victory with the Supreme Court.  The slogan "Love Wins" seemed like a slap in the face, as if I don't love because of my position.  All this at a time when many felt like their country was falling apart.  It was hard not to be “jealous” in a sense.  It was hard not to lash out in anger, but love isn't "jealous".  On the other hand, love isn’t boastful and does not swell with pride over perceived victories—rubbing your victory in the noses of those you’ve defeated.  It is very difficult not to be rude in the midst of such critical fights as come up over serious issues like homosexuality, but love is not rude. 

Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

Love doesn’t demand people to see things or do things our way.  We should make our case—reasoning with people—hoping they will come around to our way of thinking, but it’s their decision.  And love means that we let people follow their own path and not become irritated when they don’t follow ours.  Furthermore, we don’t hold a grudge against people we love when their beliefs clash with our own or when we feel mistreated.  It’s not easy, but love is worth it. 

Love does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 

Ultimately, what we really want is for injustice to vanish and for truth to win.  Yet sometimes pride disrupts this aspect of love.  We want to be right; we want to win.  And sometimes, the harder we fight to be right (and the more people we can get to agree with us that we are right) the more our selfish pride can blind us to the fact that we might just be wrong.  And it might just be sometimes that our desire or desperate need to be right starts to overshadow our love.  True love—in the biblical sense—rejoices when the truth wins out even if we have to admit we were wrong.

In regards to the issue of homosexuality, I find myself praying fervently about the fact that I might be wrong.  I don’t think I’m wrong.  I’ve taken great care to study, and meditate, and pray about, and research, and listen, and learn as much as I can about this issue so that I can be as confident as possible in my understanding.  Yet I never want to feel like the case is closed and so shut my mind or my heart to what someone else has to say.  Although I know what I believe, I always want to listen in case God shows me something I’ve missed.  You see, this is a serious issue that affects scores of people at a very deep level.  It has broken families apart, driven some to suicide and others to brutality or murder.  Yet my role as a Christian (and especially a Christian leader) requires me to have an opinion, to lead our church according to God’s will, and to take a stand the best I know how.  The love of Christ compels me.  And yet, I also understand all too well the disturbing reality that I could be wrong. 

If one day find that I was wrong, I hope that those with whom I disagreed will have mercy and forgive me because I was only trying to do what I thought was right.  In turn, I want to be merciful with those I disagree with now--treating them the way I would want them to treat me if the shoe was on the other foot.

I pray your most earnest desire as we go through this study is—not to be right and not to win, but—to rejoice whenever the Truth wins out even if it means you’ve been wrong. 

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Living as a Christian in our world requires faith, courage, and perseverance.  It requires us—with God’s help—to live out the principles Christ gave us the best we know how.  It requires us to have the courage to uphold the truth even if everyone else disagrees (or to be willing to change if we discover we were wrong).  Our faith requires us to persevere through it all—regardless of the difficulties—because we trust Jesus. 

Love will last forever.

All our understanding is limited.  Even what we know for sure will one day become irrelevant.  The same is true of our power, our influence, our traditions, our ways of life…  The only thing that will be left is love.  Therefore, we must make love our highest aim.  For if we are right, but without love, we have nothing.  And even if we are mistaken, but full of love, we are better off; because, one day our mistakes will be washed away, but love will remain forever. 

Summary

            Love is the key.  So in closing, I want to summarize the loving attitudes that will serve you best over the next few weeks as we consider how to live Christian in a gay world.  Really, these attitudes will serve you well in many areas of your life.  So, I encourage you to:

1.     Keep an open mind and a humble heart.

2.     Even if you don’t agree, try to at least understand someone else’s point of view.  I find that I learn more from people with whom I disagree than from those with whom I agree.  It doesn't mean I accept what they say, but sometimes understanding the position of those with whom I disagree clarifies why I believe what I believe.  Perhaps it will for you too.

3.     Remember, this is a safe place.

o   It is a place where you can come open your heart to God and listen for His guidance,

o   where you can agree or disagree, knowing God loves you either way,

o   where you can let God change your mind and heart or find He confirms what you already knew. 

Invitation

            I invite you to come to Pleasant Grove UMC for each of the messages in this series—with an open mind and a humble heart (or read each message here on this blog over the next few weeks).  I invite you to seek to be more loving, as spelled out in 1 Corinthians 13.  Most importantly, I invite you to ask Jesus to take control of your life and to commit to follow Him.   Christ is the embodiment of love--proven when he gave his life for us on the cross.